Ok, I’m going to call it now. I don’t know when it will happen, but I’m becoming convinced it will. I might have mentioned this idea in a previous entry, but I’m making this post stand-alone.
Do you have data in “the cloud”? The motherfucking “cloud”? The stupid term for Internet storage? The one where some idiot manager looked at the Visio diagram for wide area networks, represented by… a cloud, and called it “the cloud” and it stuck?
Anyway. You probably do. Your smartphone saves backup data to “the MF’n cloud.” You probably have Google Drive or OneDrive or DropBox or one of the many others. You may actually have online backups through Carbonite or its competitors. Surely you understand you are trusting these companies to stay in business as long as they have your stuff.
But, you’re not alone. Businesses are being strongly pitched to store their stuff in “the MF’n cloud”. Not only that, some businesses completely exist in this etheric realm – no tangible assets at all. Today, Microsoft sent me an email stating they had developed a utility to move your TFS projects from your local machines to “Visual Studio Online” – a goddamn cloud for code. (TFS is a tool for storing and keeping track of source code.)
Now hold on one minute here. Microsoft wants me to take all my business’s code, the stuff that RUNS my business, and put it on their servers. Oh, I’m not worried about security. Seriously, I’m not. There is one scenario I predict is going to happen, and it may happen to any one of these companies that deal in virtual, rented storage.
On that fateful day, there will be a news story about how CloudCo has defaulted on a financial obligation. Then there is a flurry of more “investigative” news stories as people realize, “Oh shit, they’ve been insolvent for a really long time, although the executives have made tons of the money and are saying they had none of the idea this was happening. How could we be such stupid Americans? Is YouTube still up?” No, this isn’t like the banks. This is different.
Banks may have your money, but you can replace that with other money, especially with money you get from FDIC guarantees. Cloud companies have your data. Your pictures, your documents, your emails, your contacts, your digital life. There’s no FDIC guarantee on that. It cannot be replaced. Do you see the difference here?
Ok, back to that day. CloudCo, says, “Sorry for your bad fortune, we’re going to have to close up.” Government officials will immediately say “My pictures!” and will create something that sounds impressive, like injunction, that effectively says, “we’ll make people provide CloudCo service for free until everyone can get all their data off their servers.” Problem is, CloudCo worked very hard to get a lot of data. Too much data to move. Too much data for a company to completely revamp its processes to use another provider. So much data that CloudCo became “too big to fail”. Oh wait, this is just like the banks. It’s actually more insidious.
I’m saying it’s going to happen. I have no idea when or to whom it will happen, but it’s gonna happen. And if you really wanna get in on this, you can do it yourself. Start a cloud company. It will be like minting money. And when it all falls apart, you won’t even see a day in jail. I can promise that, because America loves entrepreneurs. Especially ones that have a plan, even if that plan is to take the money and run.
Consultancy
The recent Dilbert strips have got me thinking abut the concept of consulting. I think it’s a pretty recent thing, probably since the 90’s? At least in the tech industry, I think it is. Maybe it’s always been around for other fields.
Consulting, as the comic depicts, is a lifestyle. It’s at odds with holding a regular job and has different benefits and drawbacks to working in that capacity. Personally, I see many more drawbacks, and not just for the consultant. The consultant’s issues are pretty easy to identify. I’m just concerned that some things have been allowed to become “the standard” because they’ve been going on so long.
In the first place, businesses have become accepting that they don’t need to retain the talent to have the most advanced “stuff”. (Stuff is an ambiguous term for anything: a process, a piece of hardware or software, a design methodology.) They think that the most advanced stuff just handles itself. You just need to set it up. So you can “rent” the expertise instead of “buying” it. That’s not how stuff works, and it’s painfully obvious when shit goes wrong. But this is the way it’s done now.
Because of that point, you can make a summary statement that “consultants don’t make solutions, consultants fix problems.” Database running slow? Bring in a consultant. Need to solve a technical hurdle? Consultant. Need to adopt an entire new accounting system? Consultants! But consultants leave, and when they do, it’s back on you. Yeah, it’s great to be on vacation, but you need to come back to work eventually. So, what if the problem happens again?
And what makes a consultant so amazing, so important? Because they’ve helped dozens of other companies with the same problem? That’s a great breadth of knowledge. Does it mean the same as a great depth of knowledge? No. Can a consultant get a great depth of knowledge? Not likely, because they are constantly jumping from one flower to the next, pollenating fixes here and there.
Yeah, I’m sure there are good consultants out there. Ones who will teach and share knowledge while they work; ones that will dig deeper and solve the root cause instead of addressing the symptoms. But that also depends on what the business is willing to pay for.
I guess it comes back to my first point. The fact that business (and life as a whole) is so sped up, there is no time (and money) to do things the right way and no time to learn something in its entirety before it is obsolete. This, along with the idea that there is always something better, which is probably true, but that it is incompatible with older versions, which is simply bad, is leading us into a state of perpetual rebuilding, so that there is never time to actually measure the success we have attained.