The Search Continues

Today, I treated myself to a nice, long, hot shower.  I know at least one person who would say, “fuck yeah!” and at least one person who would say, “fuck you!” to that extended activity.  Showers aren’t really a big thing to me.  I’m typically always a solo showerer (“Boooo!” from at least one person) and usually, I just want to get it done and get my day started.

Because of my view that a shower is utility and not luxury, you would think my showering hardware would reflect that.  You’d be right but oddly, I find myself in a perpetual search for the perfect showerhead.  I initially wrote shower head and quickly determined that is something totally different.  (“Boooo!” from at least one person)

I don’t recall the showerhead that came with the house when I bought it, and can’t remember when I first swapped it out, but I do remember at that time I had a real bug up my ass about saving as much water as possible.  I don’t really know why, since the water bill is really low and my appliances are all water-efficient.  But anyway, I bought this ultra-efficient head with a shutoff switch built into it.

41umwed8qpl1I think I might have experienced this spray nozzle once before in a hotel and I was impressed with the power of the spray while it still used very little water.  So I sought one out for myself.  When I got it installed, I learned a few things.  One is that novelty wears off.  If I had stayed a full week at that hotel instead of a night, I would have learned that the sensation of the spray isn’t all that wonderful, day after day.  The other thing I learned is that when I used the shutoff switch, the water immediately starts cooling, so when the switch gets turned back on, you get a blast of cold water.  Nope, this is not the last showerhead I will own.

89cb9d4f-8aaa-4f18-9118-8cc0719899c91In 2012 (according to sales records), I purchased a Dream Spa showerhead.  This head had a major advantage in that it had a hose on it.  I don’t know why manufacturers always try to suggest that you will grab the showerhead and spray all over your body with it.  I just turn around in the shower.  It’s not that difficult, people.  However, the hose allowed me to clean the the shower much easier than a stationary head would.  Being a typical guy, it was not out of the realm of possibility to run a garden hose into the bathroom to spray the walls down.  I’m not saying I did that… often, but then again, I’m not saying I clean… often.

I used this head for a really long time.  And I did it in spite of the fact that the shower head designers were complete idiots.  What I am referring to is the nozzles.  Nothing like having a dozen or so faces staring aghast at your nudity.  Don’t see it?


Because the water sucks everywhere in this state and even in my house, I eventually had to replace this showerhead.  The limestone and other minerals clogged up, dried out, and cracked the rubber OMG faces, resulting in a suboptimal spray pattern.  So I bought another Dream Spa head, one that had even more spray patterns.  Honestly, they all sucked.  I’m just sticking with a simple outer ring spray pattern until I move on to my next head.

Unrelated to my head problems at my own home, a different problem was occurring back in my hometown motel, where I was last weekend.  You know how a lot of faucets have tilt-to-open, turn-for-temp designs?  You see them pretty much everywhere.

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Well, I was pretty surprised that in the lobby of the motel when I was checking in, there was a large-type printout explaining the proper use of the shower faucet.  My assumption is they had one too many people snapping the handles off trying to tilt them to turn on the water.  In my own room, they had another educational piece, printed on a high-quality placard.


Contact the front desk if you don’t comprehend what we’re try to explain.  Don’t break our damn handles anymore.


  1. Andy is too tall for a number of showers so those hose attachments are good for him. This is information you didn’t really need, so sorry, but I am disappointed this is not a short story.