Here we go again. Another restaurant on my blacklist, which is a shame because I’ve been very tolerant of them in the past. But this incident had a a new, unexpected element to it.
I arrive and wait for attention. This is typical. I have no idea why this restaurant doesn’t have a host. Finally, a man notices me and tells me I can have a seat anywhere. And I do.
He brings me bread and a glass of water and says the waitress will be by soon. Huh. I guess they did get a host. Good for them. A lady comes out and takes my order. Coke, salad, and an entrée. Nothing fancy.
After a while, the host comes back out and asks if I need anything. I just placed my order and I have bread and water, so, no. I’m fine. Good, attentive host.
Another party comes in and sits in the booth in front of me. The waitress is apparently good friends with them, since they texted each other before arrival. When the waitress eventually comes back around to take their order, she sits in the booth with them, chats with them for an extended time, and in-between, takes their order. I’m thinking, “Where’s my coke?”
Waitress goes away, checks on another table, then brings the neighboring party’s salads out. Um, where’s my salad? She goes away, comes out and clears a table, checks on another table and refreshes their drinks. At this point, my water is empty and I’m being completely ignored, even when she looks right at me. As I sit and stew, I decide: It’s on.
At last, the waitress brings out my entrée. I say thank you, then turn on the asshole mode. “Now, may I have my Coke, my salad, and a refill of my water. Please.” She is stunned for a moment and says the other guy is my waiter. What? I thought he was the host. She took my order. She brought my food out. I thought she was my waitress. I tell her such. Nope, they had switched. She said that she got the Coke and salad ready, but he just left them there.
Wait. She just admitted that saw my drink and salad sit there in back and did nothing about it? She says the guy is new and she doesn’t think he’s going to work out. Yeah, I never saw him again after he asked me if I needed anything, but I didn’t think he was a waiter. In hindsight, why wasn’t he bussing the tables? Hmmm.
Anyway, she apologizes and says she will get my Coke and take the salad off the bill and talk to her manager. I’m semi-sympathizing with her at this point because of the misunderstanding that (at the time) I didn’t realize was more her fault than anything. But then, a challenger appears!
The guy in the booth in front of me half turns around and says, “This is my first night here, and I’ll be your waiter.” Remember, this guy is close friends with the waitress. Obviously he’s been there plenty. I didn’t quite get where he was going with his statement.
I chuckle and say, “Oh, I’ve been here several times."
His voice changes slightly and he says, “This is a good place to eat.”
Instinctively, I sense he’s a bit peeved about my dressing down of his friend. I reply sympathetically and emphatically, “You’re right, this is a good place.”
His voice changes more significantly and he orders, “Then shut the fuck up and enjoy it.”
Dramatic pause.
Using a tone I have mastered that basically says, I have to say this, but I don’t mean a word of it, I reply, “I’m sorry if I offended you, sir.”
He delivers more rambling f-bomb accusations with his back to me. His wife is saying, “Honey, stop.”
Well, that’s that. Without a bite of my food, I say, “You know, I don’t think this is a good place.” I remove my napkin and stand up. I walk by his booth and say to him, “Thank you very much, sir.”
I go to the waitress, who, despite the situation I put on her and the one happening between me and her friend, is helping another table… before she gets my damn Coke. I put a bill in her hand and say, “Here’s $10 for the food. I won’t be eating here again.” She chases after me trying to give the money back, but I shooed her off.
Sometimes the poison isn’t just the staff, it’s the patrons, too.
Advances in Management Through Nudity
In other Florida news, a mostly-naked woman went berserk in a McDonalds, trashing the equipment and eating ice cream. Yeah, that’s pretty much the headline. But after watching the video, I had one primary takeaway. It didn’t have anything to do with the nudity.
I have no idea what the woman was upset about. That point actually doesn’t matter. The thing that was the most informative in the video. She calmed down after sucking on the ice cream machine. She then made herself an ice cream cone and didn’t trash anything else. Low blood sugar, maybe?
Regardless, here’s my idea. With an agitated customer, the manager has to do two things: establish trust and defuse anger. The first should be offering to meet on neutral ground to discuss the problem. When a manager is behind the counter, there is a clear barrier between the parties. This can allow the manager some safety and power over the situation, but it can also raise the perception of inaccessibility to the customer, which just intensifies the situation. The manager can say, “Let’s sit down at a table and discuss this.” There will still be a barrier between them, but the playing field will seem more level.
Defusing the anger can be easy. Ask the customer if they want a drink, dessert, or ice cream. Whatever they want, have someone immediately make it and bring it to the table. The manager should not make or bring the request; the manager’s attention is solely on the customer.
If all goes well, the customer will be snacking and explaining the problem, maybe very aggressively. But by seating them at a table, you’ve gotten the scene away from the front counter, where others would be subjected to the tirade. Additionally, the customer may not back down from their argument in front of a bunch of spectators, but in isolation, may be more agreeable. Everyone wants to look strong in front of others.
And if the customer is nude for all of this, it may be a blessing for some.