Category Archives: Wondering - Page 15

We Believe

Today I saw a funny video on a forum.  I thought to myself, “this is going to explode”, so I went to YouTube to see what the play count was.  400k.  Not bad.  I’ll have to check it later.  I noticed something really peculiar in the video description:

“For licensing/usage please contact: licensing@jukinmedia.com

Huh?  This was supposed to be someone’s funny personal video.  Did this person have the foresight to actually license their personal video?

I visit the website and this statement jumps out at me:

WE BELIEVE CONTENT CREATORS SHOULD BE REWARDED FOR THEIR WORK.

What the hell?  Further:

JukinVideo.com has the world’s largest selection of short-form, viral video content available for licensing.

Ok.  I am feeling totally ripped off now for even watching that and considering sharing it.  “Viral video content” – I don’t even know how to describe this.  I was under the impression that “viral” was something that happened to a video, not something that was premeditated.  How naive I am.

But let’s jump back to that first statement.  I do believe that people who become viral sensations are rewarded in some way for their work.  They do get lots of media attention, then it’s up to them to parlay that into something of lasting monetary value.  This site is not needed.

This site’s statement should read: “WE BELIEVE WE DESERVE A CUT OF YOUR SUCCESS.”  Because that’s what they’re doing, injecting themselves between your work and the world, buffered by a team of legal experts that will “protect your (they really mean their) content rights.”  This is a company that is intent on taking everything wrong with the entertainment industry and applying it to the free internet.

I am curious how this works, because they do have examples of honestly homemade videos.  Do they seek out funny videos, then approach the owner and say, “Let us license your video and we’ll pay you a percentage of the licensing fees we get. Why not, you won’t make anything on your video otherwise.”  But is that true?  If this company owns the right to that video and it goes viral, what are your rights for show appearances, travel and reimbursements?  Do they own you?  I know enough about the entertainment industry to know you are not the one who will profit from this deal. 

You can be assured that the rights will be in perpetuity, which means they can resell your video over and over forever, to TV shows, DVD collections, or even Time-Life greatest hits.  The video isn’t yours anymore.  Depending on how the contract is written, you may not see any “royalties” after a certain period.

I am disgusted.

Can You…

be any more of a victim? – Chandler Bing

I get a call yesterday from a number I don’t know.  I don’t answer it and the person leaves a voicemail.  It’s a relative of a neighbor – I guess I’ve met him a few times.  He needs help with his computer.

Still in voicemail, he relays the whole situation to me.  He thinks his email was hacked.  Yahoo Mail, maybe?  So he “called Yahoo” and these guys “went in a did a bunch of stuff.”  They charged him like $190 for this work.  Unsurprisingly, it didn’t fix his problem.  But, surprisingly, they called back and said they wanted to refund his money, but first he would have to wire $300 to a place overseas.  Luckily at this point, he cut his losses and gave up.  But that wasn’t the end.  He shut down his computer and when he started it back up, he was prompted to log in and they had changed the password on him. 

I call him back and offer to copy his files off the hard drive and reinstall the OS.  He asks how much that’s going to cost because he’s not working and he’s on disability and he’s currently at an AA meeting (and I guess he’s already paid almost $200 so far).  Oh boy.  I told him not to worry about it.  I know that I can fix this, but there’s a lot more wrong here and this certainly isn’t the end of the problems.

As I’m mulling over how much seems to be wrong: AA, disability, jobless, hacked, taken for a scam, it made me think about my persistent thought about how the PC revolution almost had something; how it almost brought enlightenment to humanity.  This case was a stark reminder that some people just can’t handle a PC.  These people need simpler devices like tablets.  And yet, among the downloaded files on the laptop, were utilities for rooting Android phones.  Just enough to be dangerous, indeed.

Tech Terms

As someone who has grown up during the computer revolution, I can look at today’s society and marvel at how computers changed so many things in our lives.

A phrase I repeat in my posts is “I blame Windows,” which refers to the idea that Windows allowed a user to customize lots of different visual and behavior aspects, which then caused the user to expect that sort of custom, tailored experience in the real world, which then possibly contributed to the self-centered nature of younger generations.  Maybe.

But the thing I was thinking about last night was how computers have introduced language that possibly would never have entered into the mainstream otherwise.  I’m not talking about computer-specific terminology, despite my slight fascination of the term “drive” – disk drive, floppy drive, hard drive, usb drive, flash drive, and thumb drive.  I am talking about a couple of terms that possibly existed (I can’t be bothered to take the 10 seconds and check) but were of no concern to people until they got computers.  For example:

Font.  Everyone that uses a computer now knows about fonts and what they are used for.  That’s because everyone that got a computer has become a publisher in some way or another.  Even with something as simple as emails, you could get a admonishment, “your font is difficult to read/too big/ too small/ the wrong color/not installed on my computer”.

Back in “the old days”, you had a typewriter that had one font – Courier New.  You never had to worry about fonts.  Even people who wanted to care about them and wanted to sound artsy or something would say, “that’s a really nice typestyle on that advertisement”, which would lead a more pretentious artsy person to say, “It’s not a typestyle, it’s a typeface.”  But now everything is a font and everyone knows what that is.

Portrait and Landscape.  I don’t think these terms existed before computers, but I also don’t think they are strictly computer terms.  Maybe they existed in the publishing and photography industries, don’t feel like checking.  The thing I know is that before computers, we used terms like “vertically” and “long-ways” to describe orientation.  What a clever naming convention, too.  Describe portrait orientation to someone.  “It’s like a portrait”  And landscape – “It’s like a picture of a landscape.”  However, it is possible to have a portrait of a landscape taken in portrait orientation, but displayed in landscape.  That is a bit confusing to explain to someone.

Who Wants To Live Forever?

Things that MSN Healthy Living says are bad to eat:

  • BBQ Sauce
  • Pasta Salad
  • Macaroni Salad
  • Potato Salad
  • Ranch Dressing
  • Fatty steaks
  • Breaded chicken
  • Fried chicken
  • Hot dogs
  • Sausage
  • Hamburgers
  • Pie
  • Cake
  • Gluten-free foods
  • Greek frozen yogurt
  • Asian Chicken salad
  • Fruit Smoothies
  • Fish Sandwiches
  • Chinese vegetarian dishes
  • Chipotle’s burrito bowl
  • Tomato soup
  • Baked fuckin’ potato
  • Omelet
  • Microwave popcorn
  • Light salad dressings
  • Trail mix
  • Granola
  • Artichoke spinach dip
  • Flavored fat-free yogurt
  • Dried fruit
  • Flavored soy milk
  • Energy drinks (well, duh)
  • Turkey sandwich
  • Parfait
  • Blue corn chips
  • Chicken wrap
  • Low-fat muffins
  • Frozen diet dinners
  • Canned soups
  • Veggie pizza
  • Spinach pasta
  • Wheat bread (or any fucking bread)
  • Diet soda (duh, again)
  • Reduced fat peanut butter
  • Fruit cocktail
  • Swordfish
  • Imported catfish
  • Farmed eel
  • King Mackerel
  • Orange Roughy
  • Chilean Sea Bass
  • Shark
  • Imported Shrimp
  • Tilefish
  • Bluefin Tuna
  • Non-organic strawberries
  • Anything from McDonalds
  • Canned Tomatoes
  • Corn.  Yes, corn.
  • White chocolate
  • Artificial sweeteners (no, really?)
  • Sprouts
  • Anything with food dyes
  • Ice cream sundaes from chain restaurants
  • Eggnog
  • Candied Yams
  • Creamed Spinach
  • Cranberry Sauce
  • Cheese straw
  • Fruitcake
  • Swedish Meatballs
  • Pot Roast
  • Yorkshire pudding
  • Prime Rib
  • Sausage stuffing
  • Dark meat turkey
  • Green bean casserole with fried onions
  • Croissants
  • Potato pancakes
  • Lobster Newburg
  • Yule log
  • Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha
  • Caramel apples
  • Gingerbread
  • Sugar cookies
  • Plum pudding
  • Mashed Potatoes
  • Gooseberry pie
  • Beef Wellington
  • Glazed Ham
  • Gravy
  • Cinnamon Rolls
  • Peanut Brittle
  • Apple pie a la mode
  • Chocolate covered cherries
  • Cheese fondue
  • Shepard’s pie
  • Smoothie King’s Hulk Strawberry Smoothie
  • Starbucks’ Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended Creme with whipped cream
  • Coldstone’s PB&C Shake
  • Auntie Anne’s Jumbo Pretzel Dog
  • Cinnabon’s Caramel Pecanbon
  • Wendy’s Sweet and Spicy Boneless Wings
  • Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Cake Muffin

And although there are many more articles I could have pulled items from, I think that serves to show that if you really want to be healthy, all you can eat is organic lettuce.  But even then, some articles complain about foods that are improperly produced or prepared, so make sure that straight-from-the-ground organic lettuce doesn’t have any bugs, dirt, or animal feces on it.

Do not, I repeat, do not cook.  Mankind has been lucky to survive as long as it has with people indiscriminately making food.  If you didn’t pull it from the ground or from a bush or tree with your own hands, it is not safe and you will die.

People Don’t Have a Clue

Today, I read that there is a bittorrent client for Windows Phone.  So, I’m pretty damn confused now.

People are shunning desktop PCs because they don’t want to have to deal with the “computer-y” stuff.  But people want to do more “computer-y” stuff on their phones, despite the fact that the UI is less optimized for such tasks.

I’m wondering where the middle is, if there is one.  Will computers look like phones, like how OSX is morphing into iOS and the Windows 8 UI becomes standard across devices?  Will phones look more like PCs, like what we already had and hated with Windows Mobile?

People want to do one thing at a time and have multiple things going at one time.  The desktop metaphor has become too complex for people, but they complain when you can’t easily switch between apps on a phone.

Every single possible size of screen is available from phones, to phablets, to tablets, to laptops, to desktops, to multi-display desktops.  Everyone bitches that this one or that one is too big or too small or too heavy or too fragile.

Fail on the Wrong Scale

Reading through the tech news sites today, I see Microsoft has released a new model of their Surface tablet.  And, even though I hate myself for doing this because it makes me hate the world, I read the comments on the articles.  The comments that always got to me were the simple “Total Fail” posts.  Some would back it up with something like, “No one’s talking about this.  It’s dead on arrival.” or “Look at how little press this is getting.  Microsoft can’t even get the word out.”

I think I’ve finally come to understand this.  When you’re dealing with an ultra-powerful tablet – one that is on par with business-class laptops – quite simply, it’s not for you.  I don’t mean you as in everybody, I mean you, as in the person who is spamming “Fail” all over blog article comments.  This is an adult device. Let the adults handle this.

The people that are running companies and making purchasing decisions for their IT teams are going to evaluate this on a slightly different measure than how many denigrating posts the product receives or how many talk shows the product is mentioned on.  This is not for you, mass consumer.  But that’s not to say you can’t buy it or make great use of it.  If you do, you’ll be using professional-grade hardware, and everyone will assume you are capable at handling it.

The problem is that tech blogs attract the wrong crowd, because they deal in consumer electronics.  If you went on a true IT blog and they posted an article about the newest HP datacenter server or the newest Cisco core router, you’re not going to have a bunch of “This server is dead on arrival” posts.  You will read valid critiques of the hardware’s shortcomings, in other words, intelligent discourse.

I guess it’s pretty typical of the modern, self-centered, never-satisfied, all-about-me mentality to think that if a product doesn’t do exactly what you want it to, it must be useless to everyone.  And with that conclusion, you must speak with authority on the matter, because, well, it’s all about you.

But guess what?  It’s not.  It’s not for you so it’s not about you.

Heads In The Cloud

Ok, I’m going to call it now.  I don’t know when it will happen, but I’m becoming convinced it will.  I might have mentioned this idea in a previous entry, but I’m making this post stand-alone.

Do you have data in “the cloud”?  The motherfucking “cloud”?  The stupid term for Internet storage?  The one where some idiot manager looked at the Visio diagram for wide area networks, represented by… a cloud, and called it “the cloud” and it stuck?

Anyway.  You probably do.  Your smartphone saves backup data to “the MF’n cloud.”  You probably have Google Drive or OneDrive or DropBox or one of the many others.  You may actually have online backups through Carbonite or its competitors.  Surely you understand you are trusting these companies to stay in business as long as they have your stuff.

But, you’re not alone.  Businesses are being strongly pitched to store their stuff in “the MF’n cloud”.  Not only that, some businesses completely exist in this etheric realm – no tangible assets at all.  Today, Microsoft sent me an email stating they had developed a utility to move your TFS projects from your local machines to “Visual Studio Online” – a goddamn cloud for code.  (TFS is a tool for storing and keeping track of source code.)

Now hold on one minute here.  Microsoft wants me to take all my business’s code, the stuff that RUNS my business, and put it on their servers.  Oh, I’m not worried about security.  Seriously, I’m not.  There is one scenario I predict is going to happen, and it may happen to any one of these companies that deal in virtual, rented storage.

On that fateful day, there will be a news story about how CloudCo has defaulted on a financial obligation.  Then there is a flurry of more “investigative” news stories as people realize, “Oh shit, they’ve been insolvent for a really long time, although the executives have made tons of the money and are saying they had none of the idea this was happening.  How could we be such stupid Americans?  Is YouTube still up?”  No, this isn’t like the banks.  This is different. 

Banks may have your money, but you can replace that with other money, especially with money you get from FDIC guarantees.  Cloud companies have your data.  Your pictures, your documents, your emails, your contacts, your digital life.  There’s no FDIC guarantee on that.  It cannot be replaced.  Do you see the difference here?

Ok, back to that day.  CloudCo, says, “Sorry for your bad fortune, we’re going to have to close up.”  Government officials will immediately say “My pictures!” and will create something that sounds impressive, like injunction, that effectively says, “we’ll make people provide CloudCo service for free until everyone can get all their data off their servers.”  Problem is, CloudCo worked very hard to get a lot of data.  Too much data to move.  Too much data for a company to completely revamp its processes to use another provider.  So much data that CloudCo became “too big to fail”.  Oh wait, this is just like the banks.  It’s actually more insidious. 

I’m saying it’s going to happen.  I have no idea when or to whom it will happen, but it’s gonna happen.  And if you really wanna get in on this, you can do it yourself.  Start a cloud company.  It will be like minting money.  And when it all falls apart, you won’t even see a day in jail.  I can promise that, because America loves entrepreneurs.  Especially ones that have a plan, even if that plan is to take the money and run.

Stone Age of the Future

Ok, so now we officially have a place where you can smoke pot legally.  Yay.  I don’t drink or do any drugs, I’m not exactly anti-drinking or anti-drugs, either.  I say, go ahead and do whatever you want and I’ll go ahead and dislike you for it.

Growing up, I was the only person in my entire circle of friends that didn’t get high.  I took a little bit of crap for it and I was treated a little as an outsider for it, but I also was able to toss a few barbs in return.  Years later, I’m not entirely sure it made a difference.  We’re all at varied levels of success in careers, some with families, some without.

As I get older, I find that I’m trying to look at the bigger picture, not so much focused on my life or my contributions, but more focused on humanity as a whole.  Theosophy has helped in that regard, understanding that we keep coming back, life after life, to improve ourselves and all of humanity based on successes and hardships we’ve previously experienced.

You see the progression of humanity becoming ever more humane, with civil rights and equality and less barbarism.  There’s still quite a few holdouts that want things to go back, but overall we’re making slow progress.

We’re all pretty well aware that drugs of any kind impede a persons development, either temporarily or, after long extended periods, permanently.  There is a strong argument that pot is harmless and does nothing but calm and relax people.  But that there is also the harm.  You can’t simply escape life, there is much to be done.

Does this future vision of stoned zombies worry me?  Not really.  I live surrounded by a whole bunch of “functional alcoholics”, who work all day, then stay drunk all night.  I have no idea how they do it.  Maybe they’d be much more productive if they didn’t drink, and that’s how I feel about the future breed of “functional stoners”.

But again, I’m not worried, because not everyone is going to be sucked into this lifestyle.  There will always be people who will work for the common good and try to improve the world.  I guess I’m just concerned that it will be a distraction for those people who haven’t chosen a life of self-improvement and simply decide life is pure enjoyment and leisure.

We Will Beat Any Deal!

A recent forum post was relating a story of how a car sales person defended the use of high-pressure tactics and treating customers like idiots:  The technique will work reliably as long as WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) still has viewership.

Now there’s an idea!  Clearly, the salesman is referring to the fact that the customer will pay extra as long as there is some spectacle involved.  The buyer gives an offer and, pow!  Clothesline!  The salesman falls to the ground, stunned.  The salesman counters the offer and the customer deflects it with a wave of his arm.  The crowd is screaming for the customer to win.  The salesman runs to his corner and tags his manager.  The manager comes out and is immediately knocked to the floor by a demand of an extended warranty!  Such spectacle!  So much glory!

But, through application of standard car sales tactics, like a never ending line of opponents, the customer eventually gets tired and just wants the match to be over.  The dealer wins, again!  But it was a good show, so at least there’s that.

CYA UPS

I hear and read a lot of stories about theft of packages.  Fortunately, I’m in a good neighborhood, so nothing of mine ever walks away.  But, aside from that, I know there can be misdeliveries, and then it’s more a matter of having honest neighbors.

I was checking the status on an order (a new computer for a client) and it just got delivered, about 25 minutes ago.  On the website, I saw a note that said “Left at: Font Door” and a link that said “Proof of Delivery”.  I thought, awesome, what proof of delivery is this?  I was expecting to see a picture of my package in front of my door.  Well, no.

I was disappointed.  It was just a bunch of text with dates and times and numbers and junk.  And my disappointment made me think, someone needs to do this.  Clearly, they have wifi to transmit the time of delivery back to the office and then off to the website.  Why couldn’t they include a picture?  In the event of misdelivery, a customer could possibly identify a neighbors door where the package was left.  By showing the package was there, it would make it clear whether the package loss was theft or driver error.

In fact, if I was a UPS driver, I think I’d be snapping a pic with my cell phone at each delivery.  I’d have photographic evidence in case anyone accused me of messing up, plus I’d have time stamps and even GPS coordinates.  This is a very litigious world we live in, and everyone needs to watch their own ass.  And it’d be good customer service.  That too.