Category Archives: About Me - Page 29

Stranded

Posted by on July 25, 2014 No comments

Today, I got in my car to go to work today and I took note of the gas gauge.  I have enough to get to work and I can get gas at lunchtime.  So I head off to work.  Out on the interstate, there’s an accident.  Great.  Still doing good on gas, though.

It was a delay of about 10 mins.  I’ll be fine.  I decide to stop for breakfast.  At the Dunkin Donuts just down the road from my office, I get out of the car and something immediately feels odd.  Just as I realize what it is and my hand moves to my pocket, I have a flashback of the previous night.

I’m leaving my office and heading to bed and I look down at my desk.  I say to myself, “I have to remember my wallet tomorrow morning.  It’s not in its usual place.”

It’s still there on the desk.  How am I going to get breakfast?  Lunch?  Gas?  I have to go back and get it.  but I’m going to be late for work, like almost 2 hours late.  Nevermind, I’ll have to deal with that when I get back.

I jump back in my car and it hits me.  I don’t have enough gas to get back home to get my wallet.  My mind starts racing trying to figure out how to resolve this.  My only option is to continue to work and borrow some money to get me back home.  But what a ridiculous reason.

Ridiculous or not, that is what I did.  I went to my boss and explained the whole situation and he lent me the money to get the gas to get home and get my wallet.  I have a real issue accepting help from other people, so I took this a little harshly.

Reboot & Graduation

Posted by on July 22, 2014 No comments

I saw an online forum post recently with a request on options for backing up photos.  The person had a recent scare where they thought they had lost their hard drive and all their photos and was looking for something more.

This thought led me to remember the loss of all of my email some time ago.  When was that? …wow, three years, almost to the day.  You know what?  I don’t miss it.  I mean, there may be some times that I think about it, but as a whole, I don’t need it.  That was a different person.

That made me think, what else don’t I need?  And what else could I and others be hanging on to that are really unneeded.  Things that could be keeping us in a rut, keeping us from reinventing ourselves, from really progressing.  As I’ve said before, these things are an anchor.

Wisdom comes with age, they say.  Not sure it’s wisdom, but I sure wish I had some of the thoughts  that I do now when I was younger.  Then again, maybe I was incapable of those thoughts.  Back when you’re young, you’re just struggling to get ahead in the world, and damn if that isn’t so much harder now then it used to be.  So any idea of me dropping everything and starting from scratch is a little biased.

I think I’d be better prepared for rebooting my life as a young person because I’d have the energy and drive and not a lot of baggage that comes with being an established adult.  But I would be missing all the knowledge of how to get ahead that I’ve gained in my years.  Things like business knowledge, common sense, handyman skills, social skills.  All these I wouldn’t have available back then.  Yeah, things seem easy now, but I’ve been doing it for a long time.  The only thing I lack is youth.

But how appealing that sounds.  Just to have a schedule of every three years, you sell everything, move somewhere new, ditch all your friends and start over.  You could take on a totally different personality, have totally different interests, and through making new friends, experience things that would be completely incompatible with your previous life.  In a sense, it would be like experiencing reincarnation within one lifetime, with the benefit of keeping the memories of your past lives.

Oddly, that has been a very strange recurring thought for me – what will my next life be like?  I think about the missteps I’ve made in my current life and what I have learned in this life that I hope I recognize early enough in my next life to really make a larger impact on the world.  A bigger impact than I can do here and now.

Could I completely start over right now?  Doubtful.  Although it’s a very appealing thought, I feel that I am laying groundwork for something bigger in the future.  Learning patience and tolerance.  Developing empathy and recognizing evil… not evil exactly, but getting a good read on people and their motivations.  Seeing how selfish motivations are fleeting while sacrifice and sharing give much greater results.  Nowhere is this moral exercise more on display than in modern politics. 

So, this life is simply a study session.  I feel like I’m in my Junior year, and just like traditional school, the Senior year is going to fly right by and then you get to graduate. 

Random Pieces

Posted by on July 10, 2014 No comments

Recently, Flickr, which is part or Yahoo, decided they were going to do away with integrated authentication (OAuth, SSO, whatever you want to call it), meaning you had to have a Yahoo login instead of logging in with a FaceBook or Google account.  Curiously, Microsoft Live wasn’t included in the SSO program, even though Yahoo has a good working relationship with Microsoft.  But none of that matters now.

Predictably, people are up in arms that they have to have a Yahoo login.  I’ve had a few Flickr accounts over time, two still current, but will probably drop down to just one.  That remaining one was integrated with FaceBook, so I had to go through the process of creating a new Yahoo account.  I didn’t like doing it, but what I do like is having 1TB of free picture hosting that I can access via API.  Let me explain that value a bit more.  Hopefully, Yahoo doesn’t read this post and figure out how to stop it.

I have a virtual server with GoDaddy that I can use to host whatever web sites I want.  It’s certainly not the fastest server in the world, but then again, I don’t host the biggest sites in the world.  As part of this bare-bones plan, I have about 30GB of drive space, 20 of which is used up by OS and system applications.  So, space is definitely at a premium. 

If I’m going to host a web site that has a photo gallery, which I do as part of a side project I’m involved in, things get a little tense.  But, with a little clever coding, I can host all the photos on Flickr and use their API to display the albums and photos on my website.  You’d never even know the images are on Flickr unless you look at the URLs, and what normal web user does that?  So, even with a free account, you can have 1TB of photo hosting – with no advertising.  Sounds a little too good to be true.  But I’m grateful.

And for that one reason alone, I can tolerate having a Yahoo account.  And I’d have to tell any of the people all upset about having to create a Yahoo account:  You’re late to the game, guys.  Flickr used to have its own login before Yahoo bought them and before SSO became a “thing”.  Would you have been upset that you had to create a whole new Flickr account to use their service?  Of course not.  Get over it.

In other news, for the afore-mentioned side project, I just purchased a vinyl cutting machine and heat press machine.  It seemed like a good purchase at the time because of all the team jerseys that were always needed on short notice.  And also, I am a big proponent of doing as much myself as possible.  When you control everything from end-to-end, your costs and timelines are more predictable.  (It’s almost like dropping login support for other parties and doing it all yourself, eh, Yahoo?)  Outsourcing the printing of the jerseys had previously resulted in different costs, sometimes due to rush jobs, sometimes due to the printer’s whim.  One job resulted in an incorrect name printed, with no time for correction since we paid out the nose for rush processing and shipping anyway.  So bringing the shirt printing in-house was, to me, the best solution.  Par for the course, both machines had to be rush shipped so we had enough time to print jerseys for the next game.  Even so, buying entry-level equipment only cost about $600.

Now that I own this equipment, there is a serious potential to make that money back and then some.  I have to say, the setup and operation of this equipment was really simple.  If you can: use any graphics program, print a document, follow directions, and count, you can probably run a t-shirt business.  And I have to say, watching a vinyl cutter, which is just a plotter with a knife instead of a pen, is mesmerizing.

Back Into Music, Do They Still Make Music?

Posted by on June 25, 2014 No comments

Like the changing of the seasons, it’s time to cycle back into music-making.  It’s been quite a long time since I’ve had any major interest in it.  I guess mostly because I haven’t felt like I’ve had any time.  Everything seems to be experienced in small doses here and there, and when I take a long time to sit down with an idea and try to expand it, I start to feel guilty, like I’m not paying attention to something that needs attention.  This sort of meshes in with prior posts about how fleeting inspiration is and how life gets in the way. 

Sometimes a real inspiration-killer is the effort it takes to set up and manage a recording session.  When your time is limited, you kind of have to have everything planned in advance.  You can find plenty of videos of musicians sitting in a studio, trying out different things until something gels.  I used to have that luxury; I don’t feel I have that now.

Like when you have a good starting riff, then you go searching for the right sound patch to express it.  Half an hour later, you’re midway through one synth’s patches and still have a few more synths to go.  I guess that’s why so many people compose on a piano or acoustic guitar – deal with the sounds later.

So, I’m upgrading my office studio again, adding a third monitor to my computer to be wall-mounted above my keyboards so I can keep the recording software in front of me (Cubase in ma face).  In past setups, I’ve had my computer to my side and to my back.  I hope that being in front will help me be more productive since I don’t have to turn around all the time.

I’ve burnt out two mixers over the last few years, so I’ve been playing through headphones.  That’s also going to be rectified with the upgrade – another mixer.

Yikes.  Looking back at previous blog posts, it looks like I’ve been musically idle for over three years.  That’s really no good.  Oh, no…  Checking my hard drive, the last thing I recorded was back in 2009.  Where does the time go?!  That is nothing like the changing of seasons, that’s more the changing of a generation.

And speaking of generations, it goes without saying that music is “done” differently now, and I have little interest in trying to do it that way or trying to sound similar.  I do wonder if the effort to create modern music is more or less than what it takes me to do it the old way.  For example, I have to write and play multiple tracks for a 4 minute song.  Newer composers have to find to find a bunch of samples that work well together, loop them in some coherent order and then spend who-knows-how-much-time applying effects.  At least that’s how I view modern music.

I listen to old-style music written in the new way and it seems to be the worst of both styles (effort-wise).  Writing and performing everything, then embellishing it with effects and post-processing.  That seems like so much effort, and it seems like so much more than I could devote in my tiny blocks of available time.

Like when you have a complete song, then you go searching for the right effects to apply.  Half an hour later, you’ve run through one effect unit’s settings and still have half a dozen different units to go.  On one track.  It feels like I’ve been there before.

The Rules Enforce Mediocrity

Posted by on May 8, 2014 No comments

As part of my “rebuilding”, I’ve been working on my music on keyboards.  I lost a lot of stamina and dexterity, so I need to get that rebuilt.  The best exercises I had are a lot of songs from my past.  Because of my inactivity, I had forgotten how a lot of them were played, so it was a learning experience.  Probably easier for me to learn, since it’s in my personal style.

And it’s the personal style that really threw me.  I never really had formal training, just learned and played by ear.  But much later in my playing, when I learned “the rules”, I started writing with “the rules” in mind.  So when I had to relearn my older music, it didn’t follow “the rules” and was more difficult to figure out.  It made me wonder if breaking the rules is a good or bad thing.

I think my music is pretty unique, probably due to the lack of rule-abiding.  That may make it more inaccessible, but that’s the price you pay.

Wasted Away

Posted by on April 27, 2014 No comments

Wow.  That’s about it.  Wow.

It’s weird when you look back at yourself and think, “I thought that was normal?”  In the case I’m thinking about, it was an unknown infection sapping me of my life.  I accidently got it resolved during a doctor appointment for something completely unrelated.  The prescribed antibiotic knocked out the primary infection.

Within one day of the medication, I was totally different.  I slept better, I woke up easier, I didn’t have any fog or haze in my mind – I was alert.  I didn’t need to nap all the time.  And it fixed other, grosser, things, too.  Digestion-related things.  And it fixed even weirder things: my hair color started coming back and I had a renewed desire to listen to music again (believe it or not, I had stopped listening to music).  When I did a follow-up with the doc, I told him all this, and he didn’t really care what the problem was, he was glad for me that it was resolved.  I don’t know for sure, but I suspect it was something intestinal keeping me from absorbing any nutrition.

So with that now behind me, I look back and think: that was what I considered normal life?  And looking at where I was after getting fixed, I realized, shit, I am in sad shape.  How sad?  Like not even able to walk for 10 minutes without pain.  So I got to work.  Within a couple of weeks of doing two 15-min walks a day, I was able to get past the pain to the point that walking is pleasurable again, and I think now I can start to begin a serious recovery.  I tried playing keyboards a couple days ago and was shocked that I knew how to play the songs, but my fingers wouldn’t cooperate, just being slow and/or inaccurate.  Not having the stamina to complete songs is probably a given here.  So, that’s on the mend as well.

As a point of reference, I looked at some pictures I took when I was hiking for miles.  That was October, 2012.  I’ve probably been inactive for over a year.  That’s over now.  Move it or lose it.

The Big, Happy Family

Posted by on April 26, 2014 No comments

It was just a couple of days ago that I was thinking about the Zune players and I wondered if I would ever see one for sale again.  I wasn’t sure if they were just being thrown away or if people just kept them and never did anything with them.  Maybe a year ago, I stopped at a pawn shop and saw a Zune flash player in the display case.  It was being sold for something ridiculous like $150, so I never even bothered looking closer at it.

Today, I stopped at a local pawn shop and saw another Zune flash player marked down from $99, to $59, to $29.  I asked to see it and it was an 8GB model.  Yes, I’ll take that.  And it’s probably best that I took it because the charger that they provided with the player was for an iPhone – doesn’t even fit.  Anyone else wouldn’t have the extensive accessories for Zune as I do, including cables and chargers.

So, I’ve added a new member to my family, which now consists of:

  • 1st gen, 30gb white (over 6 years old and still kicking every day)
  • 3rd gen, 32gb blue ZuneHD Originals
  • 1st gen, 30gb brown
  • 2nd gen, 8gb black

For accessories, I have two Altec Lansing speaker docks and a PC dock, and spare charging cables.  I also have 3 car audio integration kits.  If you want to stretch it a bit further, I have a Dell Venue Pro with Windows Phone 7, and a Nokia Lumina 810 with Windows Phone 8.1.  So really, I am the most qualified person to purchase that Zune.

I only have one more model to go before I have the entire Zune model collection: a 2nd gen 80/120gb.  When and if I find one, it will probably become my primary player in the car, since it can hold my entire MP3 collection.  Speaking of car integrations, I recently decided my next car stereo is probably going to be a CarPC, running a stripped-down install of Windows with the Zune software installed.

I’m sure a lot of people would like to ask, “What is this obsession with Zune?”  And there’s only really one thing that does it for me.  After all, the hardware is commodity – anyone can create an MP3 player.  And with so many choices of media player software, why Zune?

For me, the UI is unmatched in any other software program.  When you look at a now-playing screen of a player, there’s only so many ways you can lay out the screen, then you have to consider what elements will be shown.

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A large thumbnail of the album art, progress bar, song title, album name, and artist name.  Then a few icons for repeat, battery, and play/pause.  Simple and elegant.

I can imagine a lot of people say that every player has those elements and many have a similar layout and those people might be right.  It’s only extremely subtle differences that make Zune stand out.  The fonts, the size of the elements, the little glow on the current point in the progress bar.  To me, it is a perfect mix.  When I get the CarPC with the full desktop Zune software, the UI will be radically different, but no less unique and well-designed. 

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Family Portrait, 2014.

Blog Checkpoint

Posted by on April 1, 2014 No comments

So, now I’ve been blogging over six years.  And in that six years, I’ve skipped 12 months.  I mean, there’s only 12 month-long periods in that six years where I have not made a post.  It seems to be a pattern of a sort.  A lot of the gaps are due to what’s going on in my work and personal life – if I have time to think for myself.  You know, sometimes you get a long stretch where you can’t think of anything but what you’re working on right then.  Then there’s other times where you want to think about anything but what you’re supposed to be doing.  Hint: This is one of those times.

I have over 200 posts in my blog.  I remember getting an email from WordPress congratulating me on reaching 100 posts.  Maybe I have to get to 1000 for another pat on the back?  The number of posts I’ve made over my blog’s lifespan isn’t a significant number, and there are the gaps I mentioned before, so I guess I wouldn’t classify myself as “prolific”. 

I’ve recently been finding that my tags aren’t sufficient anymore.  Either I’m wanting to discuss different topics now, or I have been applying tags only tenuously to posts that don’t deserve them.  I never wanted my tag cloud to be huge – I always wanted it to look balanced, but it might have to grow out of necessity.

I’m really light on comments, and that’s ok with me.  They say that the best blogs have a strong community and a lot of conversation, but I don’t think that suits my blog.  Mine is just a notepad or journal kind of thing.  I envision my blog as if you the reader are overhearing me at a restaurant bitching about or explaining something about my day or the world or whatever.  And, like that scenario, I’m not exactly expecting you to approach me and comment on what I’m talking about.  But if you find the topic interests you, discuss it with others.  I’m certainly no authority, so you don’t need to clarify or seek guidance on a topic from me.

On blogging itself, there is more and more rabble that the medium is dead.  Short-form messages are “better”, “more concise”, “more timely”, and to me, more bullshit.  One of my favorite tags on my blog is “overpopulation”.  There’s way too many damn people out there.  And because of this, no one can possibly take it all in.  But there’s this expectation that you should take it all in. 

Look, there’s nothing wrong with having a very tight filter on your incoming data.  And you shouldn’t feel bad that you are not absorbing or are missing something.  If you could absorb everything, how boring would your life be?  Every time someone would mention something to you, your answer would be, “yeah, I read about that.”  That also makes it shitty for the other person, too.  That sounds like a great future post: Diversity vs. Unity.  When everyone knows all the same stuff, where does that take us?

In closing, I am still a fan of writing.  I’ve been getting better about proofreading – reading my post in its entirety to make sure it makes sense and has a decent flow.  There’s been plenty of times that I’ve reworked sentences, and when I do, it makes me feel better that I took the time to proof it.  And finally, thanks to you for reading.

It Has Come To Pass

Posted by on March 23, 2014 No comments

So, something I’ve been expecting has finally happened and now I don’t really know what to do about it.

Back in April of last year, I made the decision to use unique passwords for every web site and at the same time, use a unique email address for every web site.  This wasn’t difficult to do, I just made a catch-all email address on my mail server, then started using unique emails on every website.  For example, amazon.com@mydomain.com would indicate to me that the email was from my amazon account registration.

And yesterday, I get a piece of spam from paypal.com@mydomain.com.  How many people have I shared this email with?  Exactly nine.  I don’t make a bunch of purchases via paypal.  So now, I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know exactly who sold off my email address or if they didn’t even sell my email, but their computer was hacked and their address book stolen.  Maybe they use a 3rd party cloud-based POS system and that was hacked.  The bottom line is, I don’t know. 

I’m going to work on the assumption that they were hacked.  Someone got into their EBay account (like they did for me) and mined their recent customer list.  This makes sense because I can’t imagine any of the people I dealt with having a large enough customer list to monetize it for any decent value.

I would love to email each of them and tell them what’s happened.  Someone out there has compromised my personal information.  They wouldn’t be able to do a whole lot of damage, but they probably have a full profile of me: name, address, phone, email.  That sucks.

So now, I have to set up a blacklist on my server for paypal.com@… and create a new email, like paypal.com2@…  That sucks, too.

I’m a Gamer

Posted by on March 21, 2014 No comments

I’m actually the worst kind of gamer, the casual gamer.

On my Windows Phone, I recently installed the Microsoft Solitaire pack and naturally, I’ve been non-productive ever since.  What a stupid game and why must I spend so much time on it, trying to get a “high score”?

And the scoring is the really horrible part.  I mean, yeah, I can finish the game, but maybe I’ve taken too long, or I got distracted and let my timer count up too far so I don’t get crap for a time bonus.  So I abandon the game.  Why?  Like finishing the game just isn’t enough.  I have to finish and get a high score.

One of the interesting quirks I found is that if a finish a game in a decent time, I’m getting a score of something like 3000 or 4000.  However, if the game is shot right off the bat and I run out of moves, I end up with a score like 190.  What stupid scoring model is that?  It’s bad enough you were unable to finish, but not only that, your score is so low, you don’t even want to mention it to anyone.

But anyway, I am really one of the least competitive people I know.  I don’t really see a need for it.  It’s just for bragging rights and what’s the point of bragging?  I gave that crap up a long time ago.  And yet, I challenge myself to get a better score?  Is this going to get to the level where every time I see myself in a mirror I have to point and yell, “Fuck you, I’m going to kick my ass!  In Solitaire.”