I don’t know why I have this little hangup about posts where I feel if I don’t have at least a certain wordcount, it’s not really worth posting at all. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about how different social platforms are optimized for different message lengths, but blogging is supposed to be for the longest form of writing. Well, not today. Story time!
I’m out at lunch at Hungry Howies, enjoying my usual small pizza with light sauce and pepperoni, when I notice a wasp out of the corner of my eye in the window. I can immediately tell the wasp is agitated, but that is sort of a moot observation because wasps have no chill and are always agitated.
Without trying to cause too much alarm and make myself a target, I visually confirm which side of the glass the wasp is on. It’s my side, the worse of the two available sides. I watch the wasp carefully, without making direct eye contact. I want to know what his plans are, maybe to continue pushing against the glass or maybe to go elsewhere, like my face.
After a while of watching, less than a minute for sure, I decided the wasp must be killed so I may eat in peace. So I get up from my booth and go up to the counter to get a killing implement. A woman meets me at the counter and I ask, “Do you have a fly swatter?” She says sure and disappears. The woman took longer than I would expect, but eventually comes back with a paper cup and a lid. I’m thinking to myself, “What the fuck. You want me to trap this thing in a cup?”
She holds the cup and lid out to me and says, “That’s the best I could do.” I make no move to take the items from her and I must’ve had the strangest expression on my face, because she pulled back and asked, “You said you wanted an ice water?”
No. That isn’t what I wanted.
I TOO HAD A WASP RUN IN ON ALMOST THE SAME DAY HOW WEIRD???