When I was up in the wasteland, I was out driving one afternoon and saw some yard signs that said “Watch for Motorcycles!” This isn’t a new message to me. I see it all the time on bumper stickers where I live. This might be the first time I’ve seen it on a yard sign, though.
Anyway, the message resonated differently this time. When I read it, I thought to myself, “Where can I get one of these?” Where could I buy one? Not a sign, a watch for motorcycles. I mean after all, there’s advertising for them all over the place. Half the cars and trucks down here have a sticker that says “Watch for motorcycles!” Now there’s yard signs for them too. Someone is really missing out. All it would take is some Hammacher Schlemmer (wow, spelt it almost perfectly the first time!) writer to promote it.
The Watch For Motorcycles
Imagine your motorcycle sitting alone in its garage. It’s cold, alone, and desperately wants to get outside and into the sunlight. The days pass by with no visitations or consolations. The sun rises and falls each day and your poor motorbike waits for you. Wouldn’t it be a joy for your motorcycle to know the actual time of day so it could anticipate your arrival? The arrival which never comes?
HamSchlem is proud to be the exclusive distributor of the watch for motorcycles. You’ve seen them hailed on bumper stickers and on yard signs: “Watch for Motorcycles!” Now, the opportunity to own one of these heralded and yet non-acquirable objects is here at last Present it to your motorcycle as a token of your affection even as you let the gas go bad in the tank and allow the tires to dry rot.
Fashion trends show that motorcycles have always loved bling and more caring owners lavish their bikes with bling even as they ignore them for months at a time. You too can be a part of this ridiculous crowd and gift your motorcycle with its very own watch so it can tell time. At least until the watch battery dies from the neglect you’ll inevitably heap upon it.
So, anyway, that’s a great product idea. However. It’s already been done. Presenting, the “Watch For Motorcycles” watch for motorcycles:
I almost want a motorcycle just so I can get a watch for it, but they’re just too dangerous. I mean, ALWAYS knowing what time it is? People will expect me to not be late to things, and that is too big a responsibility to bear.