Thanks to Thanksgiving and thanks to social media, we have a ritual each year where everyone tries to show off to all their friends how grateful they are for what they have in their life. I can’t help but think this supposed show of humility is nothing more than a mask for narcissism. To that end, I decided to list a bunch of things I’m grateful for. Things that show I’m better than you, more fortunate than you, more deserving than you, and yet, more thankful than you. Let’s start.
- November 1st is a Sunday. I don’t have to work on weekends because I have a white-collar job and get paid really well for it. So, I’m grateful my job is awesome.
- Monday the 2nd. I don’t have any kids that I have to get ready for school or deal with any of their whining or “I’m tired” bullshit. Thank god for that.
- Tuesday. Hey, Tie Tuesday! I’ve got a great selection of ties to choose from. I don’t have to wear the same old ties over and over. I’m thankful I found these ties on sale, probably paying a lot less than a bunch of people did for the same tie.
- Wednesday. Like just about any day, I eat out for lunch. Most people have to bring in their lunches and usually stay in the building. I get to leave for a while. I am very fortunate.
- Thursday and the weekend is coming quickly. Since I don’t have a lot of obligations, my weekend can be pretty much whatever I want it to be. It’s good to have options like that.
- Friday now and the weekend is here. I think I’ll give the car a wash and wax so I can turn some heads when I’m driving top-down around the beaches this weekend. My car isn’t new anymore, but it’s still an uncommon car and gets attention. It’s been a good car to me.
- On Saturday I spend some time cleaning the pool and spa. I don’t get a lot of use out of them, but they are an attractive feature of the house when they are taken care of.
- Sunday again. I think today is going to be a sleep/eat/nap/eat/sleep/eat/sleep day. Yeah, I can do that. Got to be thankful for days like that.
- Monday, back at work. Had some code issues, but I solved them quickly because I really know what I’m doing. I’m thankful that my mind is well-tuned to solving coding problems.
- Another Tuesday. Hey, Thai Tuesday! I have my choice of Thai places to eat at because the area I work in is great with food. I’m fortunate for that.
- Wednesday, my cat greeted me at the door, like usual. She’s a pretty cool cat, with the best qualities of a dog and yet still a cat. I’ve always had great cats for pets. I’m pretty lucky there.
- Thursday, I was at work and a got a compliment on the mouse pad I use. Sounds odd, but the mouse pad is really nice. Thick, stitched, oiled leather. It wasn’t cheap, but it’s going to last forever and look great doing it. I’m glad I found it and had the opportunity and funds to buy it.
- Friday. Another weekend is here and another chance to spend time with my awesome girlfriend. You want to talk about being grateful, you need to have a good relationship to understand it.
- Saturday out at the premium outlets. It’s one thing to window shop and imagine what you would do with that kind of stuff. It’s quite another to know you could buy it if you really wanted it. It’s even yet another to know when the value is worth the price (it rarely is). I’m grateful I have the knowledge of all three.
- Sunday at the beach. Yeah, it’s November and I’m roasting at the beach. 10 years ago, I would not have had this opportunity. I have to be grateful of the direction my career has taken me.
- Monday, I spend a bit of time reviewing my retirement accounts. I may fret and worry that I’m not saving enough to meet my goals, but really, what are goals? You have no idea you’ve reached them when you get there because your goals have stretched. So I am grateful that I have anything in savings for retirement. So many people don’t have anything and that’s sad.
- Another Tuesday at work and I have the opportunity to explain some interesting code with coworkers. Being able to share knowledge and make everyone’s skill a little better is a great reward. It’s good to have that ability.
- Wednesday, hump-day, a day out at lunch with co-workers commiserating and having good food. It’s good to not be a loner all the time.
- Thursday is a day all to myself. It’s good to be able to be alone when you want to be.
- Friday I ride my motorcycle into work. I should be grateful I haven’t had any accidents on my bike. And I should be grateful the bike still runs with as neglectful I am of it.
- Saturday, I review my upcoming bills. Everything is well under control and can be paid. I’m grateful I have both control of my spending and a job that affords me to spend what I want.
- Sunday again… One more week of awesomeness/gratitude/narcissism. I spend a little time playing keyboards. I’m not a rock star, but I play good enough to please myself. Since I write all my own stuff, that must count for something. It’s a great talent to have.
- Monday at work, I’m listening to co-workers discuss the subtle nuances of the comedy of Family Guy and the skill of their Fantasy Football picks. I’m pretty thankful I couldn’t participate in either of those discussions.
- Tuesday, I leave work early for an appointment. It’s no big deal because my job doesn’t micro-manage your time. They know it’ll come back to them some day when I have to work late to fix a critical issue. That flexibility is pretty nice and I’m grateful for it.
- Wednesday, I’m making plans with the girlfriend to have a great holiday. We’ve had a lot to be thankful for together.
- Thursday – Thanksgiving. I am grateful that although my cooking is limited to soup, grilled cheese, burgers, and spaghetti, I can still crock-pot a turkey and it’s fairly edible. And my cat is grateful for that, too.
- Friday (black), It’s good that I know back roads to avoid the shopping clusterfucks. I’m not taking the day off, but a lot of people will, so it will be a very light work day. That’s great, too.
- Saturday I go looking through some of my bills and I see that I have a lot of rewards racked up for my credit cards, like $300 worth. I’ll probably let them grow because I don’t have a pressing need for them yet. That’s something to be glad about.
- Sunday, chilling with the girlfriend and realizing how good life has been to me. It’s not perfect, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. You can do some people-watching and overhear a lot of misery in the world.
- Monday, Grateful this post is over and grateful I don’t have any social media that I would have to do this kind of crap for real and wonder whether I has being too vapid or too self-centered or too insulting.
Disclaimer: Some or most items may have been altered or exaggerated for effect.
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