Category Archives: About Me - Page 17

Too Big To Fail, Too Big To Succeed

Posted by anachostic on April 5, 2018 No comments

I was browsing my old posts and found a semi-promise to relate a story about a massive keyboard I didn’t want anymore. And the thought of that coincided with something I’ve given thought to in the past with collections.

But first, the story. At one point in my studio, I had five keyboards. Two 88-key and three 61 key synths. On one rack, behind my desk, I had the General Music Equinox and the Casio CZ-1.

On the wall to the right of my desk, I had the Roland RD-600 and a CME UF6. The CME did not have any sounds; it was just a performance controller. Sadly, the computer drivers went out of date before I could ever use it. I’ve actually forgotten where it went or what I did with it.

And in storage was an old Ensoniq ESQ-1, my first professional-grade keyboard. It was awesome to the end. That keyboard was eventually sold for a pittance to a guy I was in a club with. I should have just kept it in storage.

Anyway, I didn’t have a real use for all these keyboards, especially two 88-key controllers. The Equinox had to go. I wasn’t looking to make money on it, I thought it would be a fair trade for a mixer, which is something I did have a need for at the time.

I have a Guitar Center in my town, so I loaded up the Equinox in the GF’s car and we headed down to make a deal. This keyboard is a beast, all metal case, weighted keys, hard drive, floppy drive, sequencer, the works. But when I get to the equipment guy at Guitar Center, he looks it over and just says, “nah.” Not literally, but he said as politely as possible that they did not want it. I explained that I didn’t want cash for it, I wanted to do a trade. That didn’t change his mind. So I was bummed out and got ready to pick the monster back up to haul it outside again. But then the sales guy asked, “What were you looking to get for it, anyway?”

And I can’t definitely explain why that question caused me to see red. Maybe I thought he was mocking me after telling me my keyboard was worth nothing to them. It was a pointless question, completely unnecessary. Like if I said, 50 bucks, he would change his mind? Did he want to see just how desperate I was? Was he looking to either take advantage of a low price or laugh at me for an unrealistic price? All these thoughts rushed through my mind and I just snapped at him. “Nothing, if you’re not interested in taking it!” And things got awkward, partially because my outburst didn’t really make any sense.

I stormed out of Guitar Center carrying my massive anchor under my arm and the GF followed me out, silently and probably sheepishly. I’m not one for making a scene (unless someone forgets my SPOON), so it was just bad all around. And you know what kind of hurt the most? I bought that keyboard used from the Guitar Center in Plymouth Meeting before I came to Florida. They’ll sell it, but they won’t trade for it.

So fuck Guitar Center. After calming down and reassessing, I decided to try the other option, Sam Ash Music. This would require a longish drive, like an hour away. So I loaded the Equinox up and headed out solo. This sales guy tried to set my expectations low. He said that nobody really wanted these old synthesizers anymore and the best he could do is try to sell it as a MIDI controller. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. He said he could give me $150 for it.

As insulting as that was, I pressed on. I asked if I could do a trade for a mixer and he warmly agreed. We walked over to the mixers and I reviewed what I could get for $150. There was an ok model, but a much better one was there for $200. So I asked him if I could get the $200 mixer. He said yeah, we could do that. We had a deal. (Spoiler: we didn’t.)

The sales guy gets the mixer, does up all the paperwork for the keyboard trade and he sends me off to the cashier. She punches everything in and says that’ll be $54. Excuse me? This was a trade. She says yeah, the keyboard is a $150 credit and your mixer is $200. The sales guy gets called back over. I ask him what’s going on and he reiterates that we agreed the keyboard would be $150. I explain that I thought when we were looking at mixers and I asked if I could get the $200 mixer, we were negotiating. Nope, we were not negotiating at all.

I didn’t want to storm out of a second store in a blind fury, so I sucked it up and bought my $200 mixer for $50 and unloaded an anchor. In hindsight, I should have kept the keyboard in storage. I could have gifted it to someone who really wanted to play music.

So that’s the story of the Equinox. I said that that the circumstances of that story made me think of collections. The other night I did a quick Craigslist search for CDs and found someone selling his collection of “over 750” CDs. First of all, you don’t have an accurate count, that’s strike one. You don’t have a list of albums or even artists, strike two. You can’t make out any titles from the photos you posted, strike three. And for your strikeout, what were you looking to get for it, anyway? $2,250? hmmmm. Ok. $3/CD is fair, if I want ALL the CDs. But at this point, from what I know about the collection, I want zero.

This is the curse of all collections, that the bigger they get, the less aggregate value they have and the more individual value they potentially have. It’s the same problem with thrift shops and many flea market dealers. They make the incorrect assumption that every CD is worth the same. Any intelligent person would agree that is not true at all. And as the valuable CDs are snatched up, you are left with nothing but junk that is worth far less than the price you are asking.

Listen To This Story

Posted by anachostic on March 26, 2018 No comments

On a regular CD shopping run last week, I picked up a random album. I didn’t know the artist, much less the album, but the name was intriguing: The Interstellar Suite By Amin Bhatia. Peeking inside the case, the liner notes stated: “The orchestral textures on this recording are a complex blend of synthesizers.” Well, consider me sold.

The tracks of the album were named very specifically and initially it somewhat bothered me. Songs named explicitly like, LAUNCH: Mission Control and Liftoff/Jumping to the Speed of Light. Another one was: BATTLE: Planning the Attack/Return Fire/The Last Missile. I wasn’t entirely keen on being told what I should be thinking about as the songs are playing. Despite that, I did review the track names as each song came on.

So let me say first off that this is an amazing album for many reasons. The music is exquisitely composed and performed. It is extremely orchestral and melodic and that’s made even more impressive because it’s done on a collection of synthesizers circa 1987. The first track reminds me strongly of ELP’s Pirates and has a lot of John Williams influence, which isn’t a bad thing. The thing that makes this album stand out from a Star Wars soundtrack, is the addition of sound effects, including some minor character dialog and atmospheric sounds. And maybe it’s just the geek in me, but space ship launches and flybys and missiles and lasers and explosions, all rendered by 80’s synthesizers… consider me a fan.

I have probably played this a dozen times on repeat; it does not get old for me. And that part is what is most interesting to me. This particular album is what is termed “program music”, which I had not been exposed to before. With program music, the songs are meant to conjure up specific imagery in your mind as you listen to them. And this album does that amazingly well. To carry the example of Star Wars, when you hear the Star Wars themes, you can visualize the scenes in your head, you’ve seen this before. But there’s no movie with this album, all you have are the song titles, which I originally thought were too much.

Something about me is that I don’t re-read books. I also don’t re-watch movies (except concert videos). So, I find it peculiar that this album is very much like a movie or a book in that it tells a story, but unlike books and movies, I can leave it on repeat. In fact, I’m playing it right now. It’s a soundtrack for a movie that was never made or a book that was never written. It’s also theme park music. If you’ve gone to any Disney or Universal park, there is atmospheric music playing all the time that keeps you in the theme of the sub-park you are currently walking though. This music would not be out of place in the slightest.

Hearing this music has made me think of a couple things. I have a project limping slowly forward that involves a musical soundtrack. Hearing this suite of music has given me serious reservations of calling my music a soundtrack. Despite that feeling, I also realize that I have done something similar to this before, although nowhere near as grand. It was a short-lived time where I wrote two multi-track songs I called Spy Song and Airlock. The first was a short little song that could be considered intro/chase scene/romance scene/intro reprise. And Airlock was just a short scene of someone trapped in a space ship and eventually ejected into space. Neither of these little songs would be useable for any projects just because they’re too short – a couple minutes or so.

So I now have a whole other genre of music to explore now. I used to buy random CDs at pawn shops when I felt my listening habits were getting stale, but I haven’t done anything like that for a long time. And sometimes you get really lucky when you do that.

So, Are You A Collector?

Posted by anachostic on March 25, 2018 No comments

Yesterday, I had one of those days. The GF texted me and asked how it was going. I replied that I was out and about looking for treasure and I hadn’t found any yet. I didn’t know at the time, I was going to strike gold.

When I say looking for treasure, I’m just being really dramatic about my hobby: searching for CDs. I mean, if I can buy a CD from a thrift shop and it’s worth $5 online, I’m pleased. You’d be surprised how many CDs I buy that have a value of nothing. But sometimes that’s just because the CD is everywhere and it’s not valuable because it was made in such large quantities. Or maybe, no one likes it. My tastes are all over the place.

If you’re going to really get into CD collecting, you need to be knowledgeable. Duh, right? Well, not really. You can just collect stuff you like to listen to, or you can collect stuff that’s rare, or you can do both. But you need to know what’s rare and how to identify it to take advantage of it.

I hit a few thrift shops and picked up some CDs that were common and a couple that I’d never seen before but were identifiable as early CDs, which are valuable to the right person. And it doesn’t hurt that the music is all 80’s. I’d probably like it even if it was worthless.

Moving on, I made my last stop, at a flea market. I found one CD seller and he had SO many CDs. Well over a thousand, for sure. But they were fucking busted. Broken cases, dirty, some discs were damaged. But he made up for it in quantity and breadth. I did manage to snag some uncommon finds, including a target CD of ELP’s Pictures at an Exhibition. It’s reported to be a common target, but it has a printing error on it, so to a serious collector, well, they might get excited. The printing error makes it immediately rare. Like a double-struck coin.

As I was finishing up, I asked the guy if he bought these CDs in bulk or was it a personal collection. He said these were bought from all over the place, but he had his own collection, too. I thought it was a little odd to sell a target CD for so cheap instead of finding another collector who was willing to pay more. But there was little else he had that was remarkable, so maybe he really did know value.

Anyway, after looking at every CD there, I found another large CD seller, who had much better quality of product. As I worked my way closer to her and her register, she said, “lots of good stuff, especially in these stacks here.” I took my time and when I got to those stacks, I discovered she was right. As I was pulling first pressing CDs and stacking them up to buy, I asked, “Are you a collector?” She said she was and that she had a whole bunch of CDs of her own. And that’s when I realized I was a collector unlike other collectors.

This is the album I bought for $3 from her. This screenshot is from Discogs, a collector website.

One thing to note is the entry doesn’t show the album cover. It shows the disc face. The importance of this is so that other people do not log that they have this particular release in their collection based solely on the album cover. This disc is rare. How rare? 14 people have logged it and 60 want to buy it. But, those aren’t the interesting numbers.

The disc is also quite valuable. And I have one now that I bought for $3. It instantly became the most valuable disc in my collection, by a long shot. It’s kind of like an Antiques Roadshow moment. When I first saw the CD, I knew it was an early pressing because of the case. When I opened it, I thought, “Oh, it’s a Polar. Cool.” I’d heard about Polar pressings and they seemed a little mythological the way some talked about them, but I didn’t figure it would be that valuable.

So anyway, go me! My collection as ranked by Discogs is worth between $4,200 and $12,500, with a median value of $7,100. Feels odd when you’re buying CDs for $1-$5 each.

Cosmetic Surgery

Posted by anachostic on March 7, 2018 No comments

What seems like forever ago, BMW added halos to their car’s headlights and the world went apeshit. They had a poignant ad campaign focused on the headlights with a deep message like, “The eyes are the window to the soul.” Oooooo.

I recently changed out the headlight lenses on my car because they were completely fogged over; they were almost useless. And let me stop you here, the fogging was on the inside of the lenses, so buying one of those polishing kits would not have fixed it.

The lenses were not cheap – at all. A little over $800, if you’re wondering. They took a significant amount of time to even get shipped to me, then they sat in my garage for weeks until I had a free weekend to do the work. And the work has now been done and I couldn’t be any more pleased.

I never noticed that I am constantly looking at other cars’ “eyes” to gauge how old they are. After I changed out my headlight lenses, it was like the car was brand new again. And I say that with a lot of sincerity – it is really that big of a difference.

Back in October, this is what the car looked like (photo courtesy of AK):

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She was dressed up for Halloween as a vampire. See how the lights are a dull, matte finish? It gives the car a lifeless look, which may be fine for a vampire, but when someone is checking out your car and they see those dull headlights, it really shows the age.

Over the weekend I got to work., this is what my car looked like, mid-procedure.
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A couple of close-ups of the lenses before they came out.

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And even more surgery,

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Now, after the change, the difference is amazing.

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And just look how happy she is! Young and pretty again. Sometime in the future, she deserves a fresh coat of paint, since the fiberglass surfaces of the roof and retractable hardtop deck have faded and lost all their shine. But for now, the light is bright and clear, and the eyes reveal a well-travelled soul.

Minty Fresh

Posted by anachostic on February 25, 2018 No comments

It’s been four years since my last attempt at creating a bare minimum Linux Internet machine. I figured I would give it another try. All my previous attempts were either failures, or they left me with a laptop that I didn’t know what to do with.

This time, I am creating a travel laptop that is just for Internet. And for anything else, I’ll connect to my home machine with TeamViewer. So that limits the installs I have to make down to:

Web browser – Now that I use Vivaldi for everything, I don’t have to worry about the differences between IE and whatever else I have available on Linux.
KeePass – I need to log in to websites, of course. And the KeePass database is held in the cloud, which means I need…
DropBox – I had the foresight to use DropBox instead of OneDrive when I first set up KeePass. Although there are OneDrive clients for Linux, none are official MS products.
IM – A chat client for keeping in touch when I am on the road.
VLC – For playing music and videos. Fortunately, it is cross-platform.
Some image viewer – Still evaluating which one to use…

And that’s all. I’m pretty much in Netbook territory here, but this is a spare laptop and I should make some use out of it. It won’t be my bedside laptop, since I need some other software there that isn’t Linux friendly. But anyway, this post is about Linux Mint.

In my prior adventures with Linux, both Ubuntu and Mint, the install process and compatibility issues were an absolute clusterfuck. This time around, I blindly installed the latest Mint version on a USB stick and ran with it. The Mint OS loaded up without a single hiccup and I had sound and network in the Live CD desktop. That is a very positive sign. So without any other testing, I chose to install the OS, completely erasing the hard drive. That’s usually when things go south, but to my amazement, within 15 minutes of starting this whole process, I was on a functional Mint desktop with no strange errors, warnings, or bugs.

I started right away downloading and installing the software I needed, which wasn’t much. I learned quickly what worked well and what I should not bother investigating further. Some tings I will eventually need to learn more about – the things that Windows makes so easy, like setting a program to launch at startup. Some things involving permissions were a pain, but I also have an appreciation for security, so it’s ok.

And now, I’m writing this post on my Mint laptop, connected to my Windows desktop via TeamViewer. It’s been almost pleasant. And while I still can’t recommend Ubuntu or Mint to a neophyte, because I wouldn’t be able to assist them if they had issues, I applaud the Linux teams for the progress they have made in the four years since I last attempted this experiment.

Keep It Going

Posted by anachostic on February 15, 2018 No comments

Happy After-V-Day. So, how did it go? Did you brave the crowds or stay home? Did you feel yourself up or were there others involved? Doesn’t matter. The day for that is past, now it’s just normal life again. Well, except for the bros out there just tapping their feet waiting for Feb 21 – Steak and Blowjob Day.

Me, I spent a lot of it in airports and in the sky and on the road. My V-Day dinner was alone at Wendy’s. Not really alone, there was a family there. I’m not sure if there were celebrating V-Day by fighting or arguing or disagreeing or just having an intense conversation. Everyone has their relationship rituals.

But, there a secret that the marketing firms don’t tell you about V-Day, and it’s not that there is such a thing as Steak and Blowjob Day. It’s that you don’t have to wait until February 14 (or 21) for you to get your candy, flowers, attention, steak, blowjob, or arguments. You can do it as often as you wish, every day even. Buy a bag of gummy bears. Every day, eat one, give a blowjob and have a fight about it.

Or you can be normal humans and just care about each other every day. Or whenever you feel like it or whenever it is required or appropriate. Do it in your own way. Some people show love with food, some with fighting, I guess? Here’s a few random ideas for you and your partner. Stupid kids who have no relationship experience like to call bullshit like this #RelationshipGoals. Don’t make it a goal, just do it as something.

First off, have a movie night. But give it an edge. Make it slightly dangerous. Go to a pawn shop. Wait, hear me out. If you haven’t been to a pawn shop before, you would be floored at the number of DVDs they have. And they want to get rid of them, badly. They are cheap as hell. It’s cheaper to buy than to rent.

And when the price is so low, there’s no emotional investment in choosing a good movie. The emotional investment should be with each other, anyway. So here’s the deal. You each choose one or two movies each and you must watch them to the end, together. You’re going to find some weird stuff at the pawn shop, for sure. If the movie sucks, have sex while it’s playing, it still counts as watching.

Maybe movie night is an all-day thing, maybe not. But here’s an idea for daytime. Do you think you’re well-grounded in reality? Do you think you’re pretty run-of-the-mill normal? Do you want to challenge those impressions of yourself? Maybe have a fierce battle with inadequacy? Well, this date idea will do it.

Go on a model home megatour at some housing developments. Maybe you’re not living in a place that has a lot of real estate booming going on. That makes it even better, drive to one and you’ll be able to resist the siren call easier. But if you haven’t been home shopping, it’s like going shopping for Maserati’s. See, because no one makes cheap homes anymore. Cheap homes are used homes, older homes. Builders can’t make money on starter homes. Even if they could, and maybe they would try, they are not going to make a model house show you what you can get for bottom dollar. That’s not how things are sold.

So tour a bunch of model homes. You’re see excess and grandiosity and features and fixtures that will leave you shaking your head. When you get to the 4,000+ sqft house with multiple game rooms and a bathroom that could be a studio apartment in itself, you will have a new appreciation for the simple life and a fresh disdain for the metaphorical Joneses you’re supposed to keep up with. And hopefully, if your partner is of the same mindset as you, which I would hope so, you will walk away collectively stunned and grateful to have each other and that you share the same values.

Finally, and this idea is simple, generic, and simply honest. Do something together that exposes a vulnerability. You always want to show your best side to your partner. You always want to be perfect. But, it’s healthy to let your guard down occasionally. Let your partner know you really are human and can do embarrassing things, or can fail to do something correctly or well. Couples painting? Wall climbing? Ice skating? Karaoke? These are things that don’t have to wait for V-Day or Steak/BJ-Day. You can do them whenever and as often as you want. And it’s perfectly fine to suck at them, because those things are not your relationship.

The Business Life

Posted by anachostic on February 13, 2018 No comments

Recently, I was given the opportunity to go on a business trip for my employer. The event required a technical person for the upcoming work and this was supposed to be training and exposure. I had done business trips in the past, but this gave me a whole different perspective on “the life”.

Another aspect of this meeting was that the host of the event wanted to show off their brand new building. I didn’t really give it much thought. An office building is like any other, right? Nope. And that all played into the discomfort I felt. So let’s start at the beginning.

When I was told about the trip, I was also told that the company travel coordinator would handle everything. So, right off the bat, I’m a little out of my comfort zone. You know, if I was tasked to go somewhere, I would be looking for the cheapest flight anywhere. Well, that’s not how business travel works. I end up on a top-tier airline in what I assume is a decent seat. As you know, you don’t get decent seats for cheap. They cost extra. I don’t know, my airfare was around $500. That’s more than I would be willing to spend. And also, there’s six of us going. Yeah, six.

So we all get to the destination and we Uber to the hotel. I’m not really a fan of Uber, but that’s for another post, and it’s not my decision to make anyway. And the hotel is a Staybridge Suites hotel. Everyone gets a suite! Now, I don’t expect us to bunk together, but I don’t need lodgings this fancy. No way. It’s our first night and we all go out to dinner. Company expense, of course. Steakhouse? Sure. Longhorn? Outback? Fuck, no. It’s not our money, let’s go to Perry’s. You can’t eat there for less than $60/plate. And of course, everyone drinks. It was easily a $600 bill, I’m certain of it.

Day one at our host’s new office building. This is not an office building, it is a goddamn resort. It has a cafeteria, an exercise room, a balcony garden, another café with barista on the upper floor, a game room, and technology that would make most humans gawk in amazement. Maybe it’s the new modern standard for a national company, but like Perry’s, it’s way out of my league.

The conference goes all day. We get catered lunch and we get a tour of the building. They’re quite proud of it. At the conclusion of the tour, there is a social gathering with beer and wine and snacks too fancy and weird for me to even eat. I’m watching all these people chatting and mingling, and the cute girls in the short skirts sitting on the bar counter with their wine, and I’m wondering, this is business? In what world is this business? This one, apparently.

Our group got dinner reservations for Del Friscos, another $60/plate steakhouse. I man up and say, fuck all y’all, I’m staying in my room (no, my fucking SUITE) and ordering pizza. It was a great pizza and only put the company out $25. I was ordered to save the receipt for reimbursement. It would have been fine, guys. You know, you pay me pretty well already.

My point of this rant, which I’ve done before, is that there is this executive life that is not available to normal folk. I’m kind of in it, right on the cusp, but I don’t agree with it. I don’t like it. It’s living in a fantasy, where you get to feel like you’re super rich, but you’re not. And you only get to act and feel that way because of your employer. The employer that is putting out gobs of money disproportionately for a select few, when it could be spent on others in the company who are nowhere near that sort of lifestyle. And who would appreciate it more?

The Worst Developer

Posted by anachostic on February 12, 2018 No comments

I think it’s a universal truth that no matter where you work, you hate the software that you have to use. And it’s even more true when that software is written internally, meaning not store-bought or otherwise 3rd party. As someone who writes this type of software that everyone hates, I can understand the frustrations. But this story is about the software that I didn’t write, but was written by and for the company I was working for.

The particular software was primarily written by one person, who had been with the company since the start, which was decades. I was supposed to create the software that would replace it, but the company went under before that came to fruition. However, I did have enough of an opportunity to shed a ray of hope that better things were coming, at least software-wise.

The purpose of this maligned software was order entry and contact management. It was used by the sales force to create quotes, sales, credit memos, and also to track membership for the company’s special program. For as long as I could discern, there was friction between the sales team and management. Aside from mutual distrust, there was also resentment in that the company wanted to micromanage how things were done on the floor.

The company came up with a very precise, very specific way of selling from which no one was to deviate. And the software was written entirely to enforce that specific methodology. The people on the sales floor obviously didn’t subscribe to this methodology and simply felt that they were being treated as human robots, without any free will to conduct the sales transaction in the way they felt comfortable doing. The software developer constantly complained that the users were not using the software correctly and were always figuring out loopholes, which became bugs.

I have a lasting impression from my first few days working there when I was in training for that software. That impression was validated by another user near the end of my time at the company. After sitting through the training session, I felt like a complete idiot. I didn’t understand anything. Nothing made sense. And it was all because the software was written so terribly. And that feeling made me question my capabilities for working at that company. I tried to reassure myself that it was just because I was unfamiliar with the industry, but the user that confirmed my feelings was an industry pro and couldn’t understand the software either.

There were many issues that I took with the software. The first was the ridiculous color scheme and color choices throughout. It screamed “amateur”, and when I’ve been formally trained to write professional business software, this was not acceptable. Required fields were highlighted – in yellow. And not pastel yellow, the eye-bleeding danger yellow.

Taking that issue further, there were many dialogs that used “folksy” language. There was no “Cancel” button. Instead, you had a “Forget It” button. Unless it was a “Never Mind” button (which has a keyboard shortcut of Alt-V, because Alt-N to suggest “No” would be too much for a user to understand).

You had an option to “Undo Previous Whoops” on a dialog that asked specifically, “What Do You Want To Do?”

Here’s some messages the application could pop up:

Programmer Goof – Trying to use Add code for something else!
This Credit Memo will result in a net credit to the member of $x.xx. Is this what you intended?
Does Member desire a refund check from Corporate?
Is this Credit Memo being created to "Undo" this Sales Order as though it never existed?
Whoops — too many windows are open. Close some windows and try again.
You have tried to pick up more than was ordered. Please RTFS and re-enter valid amount in correct box. (The application’s name started with “F”, which was a convenient out if he was ever accused of telling the user to “read the fucking screen”.)

I mentioned that the software was written to enforce the sales procedure as defined by the company. This actually caused a big headache at one point because they changed policy one time which required a lot of code changes to support it. But anyway, when you would start a new sale or quote, you would be prompted with question after question about how the sales was to take place. These questions were supposed to be asked to the customer, which would prep the sales form with certain data. As you would suspect, the questions were all worded folksy and unprofessionally, and most were pointless, only nagging at the sales person to upsell this or that and don’t forget to ask about this. Some examples:

Don’t forget SUNDRIES!!!
We’re Pushin’ Cushion!!!
How ya gonna Cut it, Glue it and Dress it Up???
Whatcha gonna put it on? How you gonna seal it?
What’s gonna keep it down?
How you gonna keep it quiet?
How you gonna cut it, glue it and finish it off?
What’s gonna keep it from slidin’ around?

Because the entire process was so drawn out and pointless, the sales staff started memorizing the keystrokes that would let them fly through the popups and just get to a blank sales form. The developer, when he learned of this practice, was furious. They were skipping over all the hard work he put in to make them do their job correctly – the only way to do it correctly. So he took action. To keep them from skipping through the screens, he randomized the buttons on the popups.

Yes, it may sound absolutely incredible, but this developer literally made the application more difficult to use on purpose by changing the interface to require the user to read the screen. What was lost on him was that the user wasn’t reading the questions on the screen, they were only reading the buttons to find out what they had to click next. And if they misread anything, they got a sales form that wasn’t what they needed and had to start over.

And this developer was very proud of his work. He had defeated the users. And that really was his only goal. Not to make things better; only to win. And when he wins, everyone else loses.

Holding On

Posted by anachostic on February 7, 2018 No comments

I read a recent post by AK that flew right in the face of a hobby I’ve been cultivating. It’s something I’ve been doing for a little while and is really only one facet of the other side of the Letting Go story. The hobby (and obsession for some) is “archival”.

First, I’m no stranger to purges and I feel the same satisfaction from downsizing as anyone with too much stuff would. However, sometimes, regret comes back to haunt me. It’s not the loss of a blender or a stack of towels that I miss. It’s usually something less utility and more historically significant, which usually carries some emotion with it. When I say historically significant, I don’t mean like a piece of the Berlin wall, I mean something that represents a period of your life. And even though there is emotion and significance behind it, there is also a strong element of uselessness.

I’ve read a little on the KonMari method and internally nodded my head up until I got to the point where it was explained that we hold on to things for two main reasons: the future and the past. In the case of the future, we don’t want to get rid of something because we may have a future use for it. That’s a rational argument, but I usually tackle that by reminding myself that when I need it in the future, I can buy the latest and greatest version of what I need. (Ironically, the latest version of most things will probably be made shoddier and overall be worse in quality, so…) That kind of mindset would make older generations freak out. How wasteful!

In the case of the past, which is where my archivist neuroses kick in, you are afraid of losing a bit of your identity. The modern philosophy is to live in the present, which, expressed in outrageous terms, is hedonistic. If you disregard your past and do not plan your future, what is life? A day-to-day experience with no permanence.

And, many would agree, the past is highly important, on a personal and societal level. I’m not going to go to the levels of psychoarchivists who want to preserve absolutely everything, but I do believe that you need to have a record of your past in more than simple digital records.

I have a box in which I keep all my ephemera. I have items going back to my teenage years, which I believe are personally socially significant. One of the most useless things I have is a rubber hand with formable fingers. Yes, at the time, it was usually used to flip people off and it has literally zero value today, but it’s a part of my part and is a useful prop when sharing my life story with someone. Everybody loves props.

I have an old horoscope paper which used to be sold in little plastic tubes back in the day. I have memorabilia from past jobs – old name tags, signs, magnets. You could find some of these things in thrift shops and consignment stores and that is where the great disconnect happens. People think these things have value. They only have value to the person who acquired them. You can’t buy a memory from a store. I would never try to replace anything from my memory box from a store. Like a child’s replacement teddy bear, it’s not the same.

So back to the KonMari method. You might surmise that I would keep everything in my memory box because it gave me joy. That’s not entirely true. It rekindles a memory. And more importantly, the loss of not having those items is greater than the cost of keeping them. There is a time in a friendship where you finally feel comfortable baring yourself for another person, and that is when the memory box comes out and is shared. To not have a physical record of your personal highs and lows would be a shame. You can flash all the photos and videos on the screen that you want, but to be able to touch someone’s past is unique and special.

A Happy Meal For These Days

Posted by anachostic on January 24, 2018 No comments

Eating is generally a pleasurable experience. Carrabbas says, “There is no love more sincere than the love of food.” Dining out with friends (not as often with family) is a cheerful event, with conversation and company and also, food. For McDonalds to try and bundle this whole thing up into a box and call it a Happy Meal is sort of pointless. It’s a meal, it’s happy as it is.

But there are times, sometimes often, where your thoughts are not together, or you’re not feeling particularly social. Maybe you have no one to be with. A word comes to mind: melancholy. When you look up the definition, “melancholy” sounds much more severe than I mean it to be. So, although Melancholy Meal would be a pretty awesome name, I prefer to just keep it simple and call it SadMeal.

I have two SadMeal restaurants, one for work and one for home. At work, I go to Long John Silvers. Part of the reason this is my SadMeal location is that no one would ever go there with me, so I can be assured I’ll be there alone. The whole “misery loves company” thing is completely bogus. No one wants to be around a miserable person.

I want to take the opportunity to explain this LJS place I go to. They are religious. I mean, they are in-your-face, repent-now, religious. Some part of me wonders if they chose LJS as a franchise because of the fishing metaphors from the bible. Another part of me wonders if they are going way too far and that YUM! Brands should maybe have a talk with them. We’re talking constant preaching radio on the sound system, tracts on the tables, a TV playing cartoon stories from the bible, and more.

So, some might think that if I’m sad and I go to a place that’s highly religious, I should feel comforted. Isn’t that the point of religion? To provide comfort? But that’s not the point of SadMeal. The point is to eat – alone, with my thoughts. The religion is just an annoyance.

When I am home, SadMeal is my nearest Subway. It’s not so much chosen as a place to get away from everyone, like it is at work. I mean, I can stay at home and feel however I want. Subway is chosen more of a default when I can’t decide on what I want to eat and nothing sounds like it would cheer me up. If Subway marketed like Carrabbas, their tagline might be, “Sincerity is for idiots. Eat this cheap, stale bread and indulge your misery.” And that is what makes Subway my SadMeal. It’s self-pity for not being able to choose a better meal.

Back in 15th-century England, you could be hospitalized for melancholy. Not really hospitalized, but committed to an asylum. Now, in 21st-century America, you can commit yourself to a meal. Embrace your emotions and have a SadMeal tonight.

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