Anachostic

I’m stopped on the side of the highway, hazard lights on, windows down, hands on the wheel, sunglasses off – waiting.  The highway trooper walks up from behind the car toward my window.  Hopefully he sees the effort I have gone through to ensure he doesn’t feel threatened.

The trooper looks in at me.  "I stopped you for speeding.  Do you know how fast you were going?"

It’s pretty common practice to feign ignorance to this question, but I’m a terrible liar.  "I know exactly how fast I was going."  I point to my dashboard where the cruise control has my saved speed conveniently displayed. 

The trooper acknowledges and since I’ve already incriminated myself, decides to see just how much I’m willing to give up.  "And do you know the speed limit for this highway?"

I point to my car’s infotainment screen, where Android Auto is running. "Google maps shows the posted speed limit right in the corner."

I can tell my honestly is throwing the trooper off. "You understand there are laws against exceeding the posted speed limit, correct?"

"Of course, officer.  But I do have opinions on that, if I may share them."

"Opinions on law are generally reserved for Supreme Court Justices. Are you a judge?"

"I am neither a judge, jury, nor executioner, but I would still like to have a say."

The trooper rolled his eyes.  I couldn’t see it because of his mirrored sunglasses, but your head always makes a telltale motion when you roll your eyes – I’m very familiar with it.  I’d already piqued his curiosity with honesty, he was now invested and I knew it.  "Go ahead then," he impatiently replied.

"You see, officer, laws don’t just appear out of nowhere.  They are always in response to a prior incident, as a deterrent for having that incident happen again.  They are created for the benefit of society, so that individuals can’t behave in a way that negatively affects society as a whole."  The trooper remained stoic.  I continued:  "At the same time, a law is inflexible.  It’s a boolean.  You are either within the law or not.  I recognize that flexibility can be introduced through the choice to enforce the law or not, but that’s not what I’m arguing for here.  This is a much bigger concept."

The trooper looked back down the road, maybe for his own safety, to see if there were any cars coming, or maybe simply wishing for an escape from this person climbing a soapbox.

"I’m honestly not against traffic enforcement.  In fact, I would like to see an increased amount of enforcement.  However, my targets are different.  And this is because speed itself, within reason, is not unsafe.  What is unsafe, is deviation.  If everyone is going 85 miles an hour, the speed limit is effectively 85 miles an hour, regardless of signage.  And conversely, if weather is bad, and everyone finds that 60 miles an hour is better for conditions, that is the speed limit.  And in both cases, someone who is driving 10-15 miles faster, or slower, than the pack is a moving hazard.  These are the deviants.  These are the ones that need enforcement."  I pause to let my point sink in.  I can’t tell if it is or not, since I am getting a blank stare.

"It’s kind of funny, officer, highway driving is almost a microcosm of society as a whole.  What’s good for the group is good for all.  Individualism is a bad thing.  But, we don’t feel that way here in America, do we?  And of course, you have those people out there, doing whatever they want to do, disregarding the safety and well-being of anyone else but themselves.  It’s their right, you know?  And those rights will not be infringed, right?  Well, we do have laws, but like I suggested earlier, they can be selectively enforced."

"And to a certain degree, I can see their point.  There’s a lot more people nowadays than in decades past.  The roads are much more crowded now, which means that now, more than ever, we need to work together so we all survive.  Sometimes you need to sacrifice for the benefit of all.  Ha, it’s that socialism stuff again!  On or off the road, some people just don’t want to be around other people, don’t want to sacrifice anything.  Hmm.  I wonder if that’s why they have an obsession with boats, so they can go somewhere uncrowded and don’t have to follow any laws.  But oh yeah, did you ever see pictures of the time there was a boat rally and everyone just behaved how they wanted and did whatever they wanted and boats got swamped?  They can’t even get out of their own way, haha."

"So, to go ahead and get to the point – the part you can actually do something with – I want to see traffic enforcement using drones to identify the individuals that are speeding through or holding back the pack.  Get those people and get them in line.  By definition, there can’t be a lot of them, because if there are a lot of them, they’re the pack.  Does that make reasonable sense?"

The officer sighed.  I couldn’t hear it because of the wind, but your body makes a telltale motion when you sigh.  I am familiar with it.  "Sir, you’re the only one on this road and you were exceeding the speed limit."

"Exactly.  I am the pack."

The officer did not reply.  He thought for a moment and straightened himself up. "I’m not going to ticket you today.  I have your entire statement recorded on my bodycam for the record."  I nodded slightly.  "What I am going to do is post this on our social media site.  I’m not sure yet if I’m going to edit it to make you look like you’re a genius or you’re insane, but either way, it’s going to get a lot of views.  You shouldn’t have taken your sunglasses off.  Have a nice day and drive safely."  And with that, he walked back to his car.