Banding, Again

During the blog’s offline era, I took on a new hobby: cycling.  I say it’s a new hobby, but it’s really just a return to being a kid again.  Let’s go ahead and discuss that before getting on to the titular topic.

I don’t exactly know when or why I decided that I wanted to start riding a bike again.  I had tried this a while ago with a clearance bike from Sears many years ago and that turned out to be terrible.  I had a road bike many years before that and never really liked it.  I hadn’t ridden in any appreciable amount for maybe 30 years?  But I just decided that I wanted to do it again.

And after the road bike dislike and the cheap mountain bike experience, I was sort of lost.  What kind of bike do I want?  I want the most simple bike you can get.  No fancy gears, brakes, or features, just a bike.  This is exactly what beach cruiser bikes are, but man, I did not see myself riding one of those.  And doing some research, I learned that adult-sized BMX bikes were now a reality.  I found my bike.

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After removing all the gaudy stickers from it, I rode that bike everywhere.  Well, I rode it everywhere that I could drive it so I could ride it.  Suburban nonsense, amirite?  And that was really good for me.  It made me happy.  But, like every hobby of mine, it soon becomes not enough.  I wanted more.  This bike was great for riding the paved trails that were available, but trails leading into the woods kept beckoning me.  My tires are road tires and the one time I tried riding in my back yard, I ended up crashing down on my side when the tires just slid out under me.  So then what?  Upgrade time?

Hell no.  You should know me by now.  You never get rid of anything.  That leads to regret.  The answer is another bike.  And after research, I chose a gravel bike, which is midway between a mountain bike and a road bike.  Not perfect for either, but can do both acceptably.  And taking advice from the girl at my local bike shop, I found a deal on FB marketplace for a high-quality gravel bike.

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And that was fun, until summer arrived.  It’s been a couple months now that I can barely go outside at all, much less consider expending the energy to bike on a trail, paved or god forbid, unpaved.  But someday, that’s going to change.  And when that happens, I hope to be ready with some additional data collection.  I’m talking about a new fitness band.

At lunch today, I wondered when I last had a fitness tracker.  And my blog indicates it was a little over six years ago.  And Amazon confirms that I had spent a little over $50 on a cheap Chinese fitness tracker.  Well, times have changed and that same fitness tracker is now $10 more, but who would want to buy that same model as trackers have advanced a lot in 6 years.

Hmmm.  You know, I did consider getting a band when I started biking, but at that time there was a huge tariff scare and when I researched prices, they were all really high.  Not that ANYTHING is any better now, but an Amazon price tracker showed that a device with which I would be happy dropped its price nearly 50% in the last month – to a ridiculous $29.  I mean, what’s the argument to not pick up one of the highest rated "budget" (I’d still just say cheap) fitness trackers at that price?  And that’ll be here tomorrow.

It won’t go completely to waste.  Sometimes I do get in a short hike when I can.  None of that 8 mile shit right now.  This weather is good for maybe 3 miles.  And the tracker can still gather some data from that.  I’m curious about my sleep, which I feel has kind of sucked lately.  And the heart rate and SpO2 and "stress tracker" (?) will be useful at some level.

Rest easy lads, you’ll be on the road again sometime.

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The Cookie Killers

I read in the news today (oh boy) about a new thing called nitazenes which are magnitudes more deadly than fentanyl.  This news sort of sucks the wind out of a post I had planned to make long, long ago on fentanyl, but I guess the story is still the same.  So now’s the time to write it.

When you hear stories about overdoses on street drugs – copycat pharmaceutical drugs especially – because they’ve been cut with something much stronger, like fentanyl, the question comes up: why are drug dealers so stupid?  Why kill off your customers?  And while in most cases, the dealer isn’t the drug maker, you can still point the finger up the ladder: why are you killing your customers?  And it’s not that they want to, they really don’t.  They’re just making cookies.

If you read much of my blog, you should know I don’t cook at home.  I eat out for nearly every meal.  But, I can cook.  You know, I can do the basics.  And another basic that I can do – and I do it well, I might add – is chocolate chip cookies.  So I could also be a drug maker, I suppose.  And the results would likely be the same.

Let’s look at the cookie making process.  If you haven’t made cookies before, it’s quite simple.  Put some flour, baking soda, sugar, more sugar, eggs, and butter in a bowl and use a spoon to mix it all up.  Then you add chocolate chips and mix them in.  Then you portion them out and cook them.  That’s really it.  Even I can do that.

So let’s say that customer research has found that 7 chocolate chips is the perfect number of chips to have in a cookie.  Companies that specialize in cookie making will have spent a lot of money on equipment that ensures that every cookie has 7 chips in it.  No more, no less.  And they will have quality control to ensure that remains true.  Because when you’re selling cookies, your customers demand perfection because they are spending their hard earned dollars with your company.

But my cookies?  You might have some cookies that have 7 chips, or 5, or 3, or some might have some extra, like 9 or even 12.  Additionally, some cookies might have a extra mix of butter in them, which is always a treat.  That’s part of the charm of homemade cookies.

The problem with drugs is, 5 chips might be a little disappointing, but 9 chips will kill you.  And to be sure, I didn’t want to kill you.  That’s just how the cookie crumbles.

Gimme Some Fresh Ideas!

You know how some companies are just so far into the suck that there’s not really any harm in trying something different?  Well, I feel eBay is one of those companies.  They just exist.  There’s no "innovation", there’s no drive, there’s no reason to use them, other than the reason that they’ve always had.  And that marketspace has been going to other competitors for some time now – primarily Facebook marketplace.  I mean, it’s hard to compete with free listings, right?  The only thing FB Marketplace doesn’t offer is transaction settling.  You have to do your own deals with cash or Venmo or even… PayPal!  Yeah, the old eBay company.

So anyway, if I worked at eBay and there’s nothing else to lose, this is my idea.  I’m not going to say it’s the best idea or even that it’s a good idea.  But it doesn’t seem like they have any ideas right now, so they should be happy with whatever I can offer.

Let me start by saying I don’t have a huge problem with eBay.  I’ve bought on it, I’ve sold on it.  And my idea would make things better for sellers and not buyers.  But sellers have been leaving for some time because the fees never stop climbing, and nothing else is changing.  So here’s an option that a seller could choose to utilize on their auction listings: Bidding War.

Here’s the trick I live off when I’m buying on eBay.  I think I’ve posted about it before, saying that other people were dumb for not doing what I do.  So this new option would defeat my strategy.  What I do is pre-determine the highest amount I am willing to pay, then make that bid like 5 seconds before closing.  I don’t make the bid early, because another bidder could slowly peck away trying to find the upper bound of my bid.  By bidding with only 5 seconds left, other bidders would not have enough time to inch up their bids more than once before close.  Why people do the incremental bids is beyond me.  Set your max and bid it!

So anyway, when Bidding War is enabled, the last bid will extend the closing time by whatever parameter you want.  30 seconds, 1 minute, 5 minutes.  So that gives people that were just outbid a chance to get back in.  This is more like a real live auction, where the auctioneer is bouncing between two people trying to find out who is going to tap out.  And you know what, that’s the excitement of an auction.  It might only happen a couple of times at a live auction, but how many times do you think it could happen on a worldwide platform?

So then we create another area of eBay – The Gallery, where you can see auctions that have ended up in a bidding war and you can watch it unfold in real time, with a live reaction chat scrolling beside it, maybe.  And once it’s done, it moves right on to the next exciting listing.  If the idea becomes a hit, maybe it would be a non-stop stream of auction drama to watch.

And that’s the simple pitch, but the gory implementation details would need to be addressed.  What protections are there from bad actors jumping in and bidding a product up to a million dollars?  Well, what’s to stop people from doing it now?  And it has been done on listings that have gone viral, so it’s more than a mild concern.  As part of your profile, you can set some minimum parameters of who can participate in a bidding war.  Number of years on eBay, minimum feedback score, number of previous purchases, whatever.  And this doesn’t totally exclude new users.  Someone new to eBay can still participate up to the point the listing enters a bidding war.  To participate in the bidding war, you would have to set a max bid before it starts, then you are not able to change it.  However, users who do meet the standards can continue to up their bids once the war starts.  See, that’s how it defeats my strategy.  I believe that will prevent abuse once the listing potentially goes viral or attracts a lot of attention from the gallery.

The goal of this option is to increase the profit for sellers, which means eBay makes more money.  They could probably offer a discount on fees for a listing with Bidding War enabled because they expect to make more overall from the higher sell price.  The secondary goal is to create excitement and get people back to the site, maybe as watchers, maybe as participants. 

What ever happened to those scam auction sites where you pay to bid and if you don’t win, you lose everything you had bid?  Those also had the time extension per bid, but that was just to suck more bids from the people who thought they were getting a good deal.  This actually has a bit of fairness to it.

So there you go.  Just another idea for a company that has nothing to lose.

Return To MEL

While I was rebuilding my blog post-by-post, I ran through some trip log posts I had made for drives to nearby areas looking for CDs.  I thought I should revisit that idea.  Last weekend, I woke up too late to get a good early start, so I planned for this week and this morning, off I went.  This time I had less of a plan compared to my previous runs.  My initial plan was to go to the flea market and some music stores.  You know, just kind of ease back into it and see how I feel about making trips again.

The driving wasn’t bad.  Took the beater car so it was loud and rough, but familiar and still comfortable.  Traffic wasn’t really bad at all.  Got to the flea market maybe 30 mins after opening time and the market parking lot was a little eerily empty.  Overall, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.  I hadn’t been to Melbourne for 3 years.  But I have been to flea markets in Daytona and one up north of me and it’s the same in all of them.  Hold on, let’s have this discussion at the end.

I walked all the rows and there were some CD sellers there, but one was not open, and I remember they weren’t open the last time I was there years ago.  So weird.  And of all the others I looked at, I didn’t buy anything new, just some dupes that I plan on comparing on relative waves (something else I want to get back to).  So overall, not really productive.  And it was hot.  It’s been really really hot this year.  I don’t want to really go outside anymore it’s so bad.

So after that flea market, I did a search for music stores and found one not far away.  When I got there I recalled being there years ago.  Good for them that they’re still around.  I ended up buying 4/$10 of new stuff.  Nothing valuable, mostly just collection filler.  So that wasn’t unpleasant (except for the running and screaming kids who would be scolded half-heartedly by their dad, who just wanted to buy some records – priorities!).  And with that done, I located my standard roadtrip lunch – Carrabbas.  And with that done, I was just ready to get back home.

And on the drive back, I had a lot of time to reflect on the flea market situation.  It feels like, for about 10 years now, going to a flea market is just… offensive.  I’m talking specifically about Trump merch dominating the entire place.  Now don’t get me wrong, I know flea markets have always been a little offensive.  It was like a Super Spencers.  You could get bongs and bowls, switchblade knives, and signs that say, "Don’t like it?  Suck my dick." and "All white is all right"  But even with all that nonsense, there was a sense that people would buy that stuff, and maybe they really were the lowlifes that actually liked and thought that way.  But you also felt assured that they would do their bad stuff with their bad friends in their bad backyards and they would still be upstanding, presentable people in public areas.  But since that taboo has been shattered and that mask has come off, it seems being a racist or an asshole is just an American trait now.  There’s no shame in holding those values.  In fact, judging by the merchandising, it’s celebrated.  And that is just so saddening.

And I have a less obvious observation on this as well.  Flea markets used to be sort of a commoner’s market.  People might sell their old belongings, flip or resell stuff, offer services or even do some retail sales.  But there’s something different about the Trump merchers.  I mean, that’s all they do.  That’s a really specific thing to be selling and the customer base is pretty well set in stone.  On the way to Carrabbas, I saw a dedicated trailer set up in a parking lot selling merch.  What’s the lifespan for that business?

While it would be easy to poke fun or simply call these merchants stupid, are they stupid?  I don’t think so.  I think they’re predatory.  They’re opportunists and they know who they’re taking money from.  In a way, they are like drug dealers.  And they’re feeding an addiction of hatred.  They moved into the flea market like pawn shops and vape store move into distressed communities.  And they’ve taken over.

And it’s been the same at all the flea markets I’ve been to (except for the Hispanic flea markets – go figure). 

Growing Up With Less To Say

Although it would seem to be a reflection on my posting frequency on my blogs, it’s actually sort of a metaphor for something I noticed in a band I recently found.  A few months ago I picked up an album by a group called Happy The Man, and I thought it was music by a different artist who also had an album released under the name Happy The Man.  As it turned out, it was nothing of the same music.  The music I was looking for was soft of synth-y new age.  Ironically, what I purchased was a kind of music I did like immensely – progressive rock.

The 70’s group Happy The Man only had a couple albums on a major label.  I had purchased the second.  And it was not long ago that I found the first album and quickly bought it as well.  It was, as most debut albums are, a little more raw and disjointed, but still something I enjoyed a lot.

As is typical of my musical habits, I had to know everything I could about this new band I found.  The part that interested me, and the point of this post, is that the consensus was the second album was not as good as the first.  Now me, hearing the second album first, held a slightly different opinion.  Now having listened to both albums to excess, I can see how the critics came to their decision.  And here’s where I want to reflect on it.

If you know prog music, you know it’s some really busy shit.  A lot of people can’t handle it because it’s sometimes really difficult to follow.  in fact, there’s some prog groups I can’t get into because they make stuff that’s just beyond what I can follow.  Happy The Man isn’t like other prog bands that play out a song for 12-15 minutes, though.  Their stuff is pretty compact and easily digestible.  But in that short amount of time, on their first album, they go all over the place, with sections that jump back and forth.  That’s part of the excitement of prog is that the players can turn on a dime, keep the beat, switch tempos and time signatures and typically play very quickly.

But on the second album, there’s still the shorter songs, but less frequent twists and turns.  And those that wanted more of the first album were disappointed.  But here’s the key: the band grew up.  They got more mature.  And when that happens you worry less about how much you say and care more about how well you say something.

And I get that.  My earlier compositions were very similar.  I had many different sections all put together in a stream of madness.  I had a lot of things I wanted to say and I needed to get them all out in one song.  For a different example, see Emerson, Lake, and Palmer’s Tarkus.  The number of things said just in the first movement (Eruption) with changes every 1 or 2 bars, is mind-blowing – if you’re into that stuff.

But when you’ve done all that, you find you want to begin making a big picture that’s cohesive.  You take one theme and build it, embellish it, do variations on it, all in the same song.  Looking at a melody from many different angles.  That’s what a lot of classical composers did and it lets the listener relax and move with the changes instead of getting shocked by change after disjointed change.  And that’s how Happy The Man’s second album is.  They wanted to say one thing very well.  And on top of that, they avoided making it tedious by keeping the songs a manageable length.

And when you take this "saying one thing" metaphor to another level, you can apply it to more modern trace and groove music.  In these instances, they are saying one thing over and over with small colorations here and there.  The intent and result is like repeating a mantra, as one would do during meditation.  At least that’s my interpretation, because I can’t tolerate much of that music because I need active listening music.

So when you listen to music, especially when you listen to an entire album of an artist, consider what they are trying to say and how they are saying through the length of the songs and the number of sections within the songs.  Especially the closer.  Does it repeat and fade out over a long time, trying to lull you into a trance or does it end with a bang, trying to be the grand finale of a fireworks show?

Just A Reminder

The site is back up after nearly 5800 hours of downtime.  Good job!

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So

So, that was quite a while.

The short story is that my web server had a failed hard drive back in… let’s see… according to Amazon, it was at the end of November.  The funny thing is it’s kind of an annual tradition for me to review and update my website at the end of the year.  Last year wasn’t much different, except the update was all new hardware and no backup.

The no backup part is partially true.  I did not have a backup stored of my WordPress database, which held my posts, but I would never leave myself completely lost.  I use Live Writer to publish all my posts, and it keeps a local copy of the post on my computer.  So all I had to do was repost all my old posts.  Piece of cake.

However, I was not in the mood for cake.  And I was even less in the mood for the full meal of setting up the web server, installing and configuring WordPress from scratch, and all that extra that goes along with it.  At the time, I was kind of figuring myself out again and wasn’t sure I wanted to interact with anyone or put myself out anywhere.

That recovery took about half a year and then it was a matter of getting the motivation to work on the server.  Over a month’s time, I slowly got things working and every roadblock made me reconsider putting in the effort.  But one thing I’ve learned over my whole life is that personal deadlines are self-imposed.  And further, it doesn’t really matter.  This is not some fountain of knowledge that the world needs to have available as soon as possible and at all times.  So, I worked on it when I felt like it and stopped when it wasn’t fun anymore.  I’ve heard runners call this, "Jeffing".

And once the server was up and running, then rebuilding the sites with themes and whatnot, it was a matter of republishing my posts.  1,100+ posts, each loaded up in Live Writer, links and pictures corrected (because linked images disappear on the Internet, you know), and published to the server.  That was at least a week of Jeffing.

And now finally, it’s ready to go live.  I’m sure I’ll find a few other things that need addressed over the coming days, weeks, and months, but there will be time to fix it.

And what does the future hold for new content?  Well, now that we’re in an era where your citizenship could be at risk for your viewpoints, I think the postings may be much tamer than they probably should be.  And I haven’t completely recovered from my feelings that I don’t want to really share or expose myself too much, so that will be slow going.  But I probably have some drafts I can revisit, and walking the road of my entire blog’s history from beginning to present reminded me of what I used to discuss and what can be followed-up on.  There’s always some news to comment on as well…

So, it’s been quite a while – 17 years.  What’s an 8 month downtime in all that?

Tea, Lots Of It

Throughout this blog, there is mention of Nestea, a brand of iced tea with which I have a long history. For many years now, I’ve been satisfied with the imported Canadian Nestea from Amazon.  It ain’t cheap, but it’s the real deal.

Something else that I’ve recently kind of been obsessed with is seeing how long things last in my household.  Being a household of one and not really having the unfortunate financial burdens of the younger generations, I buy the largest size of things to get the most product per ounce or whatever unit of measure it is.  I figure, I’m going to use it all eventually and it’s not going to spoil, so if I buy something that will last a long long time, I just won’t have to go to the store as often.

So, I buy the 100ct of garbage bags, when I use one a week.  I buy 350 dryer sheets when I do load once a week.  I buy the bulk packs of soap and the largest shampoo I can find.  The funny thing about doing this is that buy the time I repurchase an items, the branding design has usually changed and shrinkflation has also usually  occurred.  I’ll write the date I started using the product on the package with a sharpie.  Just for note, I recetly found can get over 9 months out of the largest shampoo bottle.

But anyway, this is about tea.  I’m not going to bother researching how long a canister of tea lasts me, because there’s really only one size and it’s whatever.  It’s not something I’m going to shop for alternatives on.  But I am going to measure something else.  I do not make my tea to Nestea’s specifications.  I make my tea light.  And I mean really light.  Like tea flavored water.  So here’s the numbers after counting the number of servings I just made from my latest can.

A canister is reported to make 68 servings.  I counted 154.  I might have been able to scrape another out of it, but because of the constant absorption of moisture as the can is opened over and over, you have to use more mix at the end than at the beginning, and honestly, the quality isn’t as good.  So 154 is close enough for my needs.  So right off the bat, I’m getting double the servings, so I’m using half the recommended amount of mix.

But wait.  I said I like my tea light.  These servings on the can are 16oz glasses.  I drink my tea in a 32oz beer stein (my teacup).  So my servings are double the recommended as well.  So I’m using a quarter of the recommended amount of mix.  The hard math on this is: a canister will make 1,088oz of tea.  I made 4,928oz of tea.  I am using 22% of the recommended amount of mix.

Now, let’s look at the downsides to this.  Each serving of Nestea has 31g of sugar, which is 31% of your recommended daily intake (how convenient).  So you can drink like three glasses a day.  Yeah, yeah, I know that’s not how recommended intake works.  Just play along.  So each of my servings is 6.8% of the recommended daily amount and I can drink four of my servings to match one of Nestea’s servings. So I can have 12 a day.  How many do I drink?  Well, I don’t think it’s 12.  Could be more than 6, though.

And you probably think that’s bad, especially since I’m not in great health.  But I’ll tell you something.  When I worked in an office, I didn’t have Nestea there.  I had Coke.  And I drank lots of it.  Not as much as my tea, because Coke is very heavy and my tea is like water, but still, a lot.  And since I’ve been working at home for the last 3 years or so, my A1C has dropped significantly very likely due to this change in intake.  So, there, it’s not bad, relatively speaking.

Fashionably Uncool, Functionally Awesome

I was kind of surprised this is not something I’ve written about before.  I only mentioned it in passing like five years ago.  It’s something that I feel I’ve talked about often, but I guess that’s just an explanation when I have a passenger in my car.  The topic: driving gloves.

So let me start with a story.  One day, I’m commuting back home from work and as usual, traffic is just at a standstill.  I’m driving the MX-5.  At that time, I had the GPS/dashcam mounted in it.  The dashcam can also pair with your phone for Bluetooth hands-free bullshit.  I don’t enable any of that junk.  But in this moment, the GPS randomly picked up someone else’s Bluetooth transmission and broadcast it to me.  Apparently, the truck in front of me was interested in my business.  I don’t remember if I’d done something to ruin his day, but it seems I was a target for criticism.  The statement that came through the Bluetooth suggested he had plenty to say about me.  The only piece I got to hear?  "Oh my god, he’s wearing leather racing gloves!"

Even with that lone commentary to consider, I have worn driving gloves consistently since initially deciding to do so.  And when I recently decided to expand my horizons on gloves, the first review site I visited gave a pretty good rationale of why you should wear them.  Now, I could have used other words like justification, or defense, seeing that most people would need to be convinced to take that step, but since I’m already a convert, it just confirmed what I already knew.

Very quickly, those reasons are: better grip on the wheel; more relaxed grip on the wheel because of said grip, resulting in less fatigue; and preserving the condition of your interior.  I agree with all points, and the last one is the primary reason I began wearing gloves, because the leather on my steering wheel had dried, cracked, and rotted away, requiring replacement of the whole steering wheel.  The replacement has remained immaculate.

But anyway, this post is about gloves.  When I started this habit, I didn’t have any experience at all.  So I just went to Amazon and looked at what was highly rated for the price I was willing to pay.  What I ended up with was Pratt and Hart gloves for about $30.  I’ve been through five pairs of those gloves over five years between two cars.  And I felt it was time to see what else was out there and build comparative knowledge.  And that led me to the article previously mentioned.

I got the names of two manufacturers that I was willing to try.  Ferrari was not one of them, because while having suede gloves does sound awesome, I don’t see myself spending $450 on gloves.  But Riparo and Harssidanzar seemed like good candidates.  One sounds vaguely Italian and the other vaguely German, both automotive powerhouses.  Both, I am sure, are made in China, so what’s in a name? (Correction, Riparo is made in Pakistan.)

So I spend about $30 bucks on the Harssidanzar and about $60 bucks on the Riparo.  That will give me two fresh brands to learn about, with one brand being double the cost – will it be double the quality?

Before I get into the details, I just wanted to comment that I did try "fingerless" gloves, that are actually like half-fingered gloves.  I thought I would like them more because my fingers are slightly long and bump into the ends of the gloves, which sometimes is annoying.  But, the fingerless style are terrible to take off.  They just turn inside out, which is an even bigger annoyance to have to push each half-finger back through before putting the gloves back on.  So, that style is not for me.

The first pair to arrive was the Harssidanzar.  I immediately put them on and felt disappointed.  I don’t like my gloves tight and I felt I should have sized up.  It was the recommended size and was the same size I’d bought of Pratt and Hart.  Nevertheless, I would at least try them out until the other pair came in.  In the next couple days I wore them driving, my opinion changed pretty quickly.  They had a very good grip on the wheel and they slid on and off my hands very easily each time.  I expect they will stretch out a little over the coming weeks and form to my hands, becoming as much, if not more comfortable than my Pratts.

Design-wise, they are pretty similar to the ones I already have.  I got tan color instead of black and I like that a lot.  The Pratts had a nasty habit of bleeding dye if your hands were wet – to the extreme that I would hand wash each new pair in the sink and wring out the extra dye (which was always impressive).  They both have holes at the knuckles, both have seams and stitching inside.  The Harssidanzar has more venting perforations, which may help, IDK yet.  Otherwise, the construction around the thumb seems to be a glove standard – no innovations there.  Both have snap closures, and the Harssidanzar has a thinner strap for the button, which I think I like, and it seemed to fit further down on my wrist than the Pratts.

Overall, I like the Harssidanzar more than the Pratt and Hart (also purchased as Silverstone).  So how does the more expensive Riparo compare to Harssidanzar?

When the Riparo arrived, I opened them up and quickly noticed the difference between them and the others.  First, the materials.  The leather was noticeably thicker and had a visible grain to it.  Of the three pairs sitting in front of me, this is the only one with a leather grain.  Then the packaging.  These are the only ones that had shipped with cardboard inserts in the gloves and paper wrapping.  To be honest, that was all sort of lost on me in the excitement to see how they fit and felt, but the extra attention is nice.

The Riparo are what they call reverse-stitched, so all the seams are on the outside.  This makes the gloves appear flatter and more angular, especially on the index and pinky finger, where the leather just sort of appears like an envelope.  Width-wise the gloves fit just fine, length-wise, the fingers were just a little short for me.  But I didn’t let it bother me much and got to work wearing them to stretch and form them to my hands.

The first drive with the Riparo, I noticed what I had suspected at first sight.  The leather is not grippy like the Harssidanzar, most likely because of the grain.  But I did persist and just had to grip the wheel better.  The snap closures seemed very obtrusive.  Normally, I don’t snap my gloves closed, but on this pair, the straps were so thick and substantial that I felt I had to close them or they just flopped around.  But on the plus side, they had plenty of room when closed – not tight at all.  I could almost slip the gloves off while closed.  The coverage of the gloves was right between the Pratt and Harssidanzar.  The Pratt being the shortest, feeling like it didn’t cover my hand fully when closed, the Harssidanzar feeling like it was closed around my wrist.  I certainly can’t complain about the Riparo construction.  The stiches are clean, the edges are rolled well and since I bought a design with dual tan/black color, the contrast is well done.  There are substantial vent holes, like the Harssidanzar and unlike the Pratt.

So here’s the closing.  I can’t stand "best-of" comparisons because there is rarely ever a "best".  It’s all in what you prefer.  So I’m just trying to highlight the differences and if a difference means something to you, that’s something you should take into consideration on your own.  Also, I will say that if the Riparo were the first pair I’d ever owned and used for years before trying something else, my opinions as to what "normal" should be would be totally different.  Maybe I’d be complaining that every other brand’s leather was too thin, not as durable, had inside seams that poked your fingers.  But that’s not my experience, so the Riparo is the foreign one here. 

For me, I prefer the Harssidanzar gloves for three reasons: the fit, especially around my wrist; the color is the lightest and the design looks more dressy and less sporty; and the leather provides the best feel for driving.  The Pratt didn’t measure up to either alternative because it’s always felt too short around my wrist and the dye always bleeds onto me when my hands are wet.  The Riparo probably would have won out and probably will outlast the Harssidanzar because of the better leather, but having gloves that last longer but aren’t as comfortable isn’t much of a sell.  If the Riparo lasts twice as long as the Harssidanzar, I can buy two pairs of Harssidanzar and get the same lifespan for the same money.

The final observation is that the names feel kind of misleading.  The Riparo – the classy Italian sounding name – is the more sporty and aggressive design, which you might associate with German autosports.  The Harssidanzar – the German sounding name – is more stylish and refined, like Italian fashion design is known for.  If you put the gloves side-by-side, told someone the brand names of them and asked them to guess which was which based on design, I’ll bet they’d guess backwards.

Final, final observation.  I did not make any bad decisions with either of these choices.  I did make a good decision to try a different brand.

Ctrl-Alt-Delete

So it’s been a number of years that I feel I’ve just been hibernating, just running out the clock.  I’m finally just getting around to making a concerted effort to undo that.  Make a new start.  Reboot.

If you dig far enough back in this blog, you’ll find a pretty low point in my life where it didn’t seem like the next day was worth getting to.  That was when social media was in its infancy. in today’s social media, I’ve learned that you shouldn’t make pronouncements like that online, at least not in real time.  It’s just a big bother for everyone.  And while I don’t have anyone in my life that would follow me to such a degree, it’s still never a good thing to just bring everyone down.  Kinda like a Green Day sentiment, ya know.

So anyway, I did have another one of those moments a while ago – many years ago, and it was many years in the buildup as well.  And it was coinciding with the quality of my health at the time.  I had been keeping up with my annual Dr visits and each time was warned of my condition, but I refused to take any action on it.  The turning point was when the doc started asking some pointed questions, and every time I answered he’d make a big huge checkmark on his notepad.  Come on, doc, I see what you’re doing.  I know these questions.

So he suggested a drug to help me.  And just like every other drug he told me I should be taking for my health, I resisted.  "I will never accept being on a maintenance medication."  He kept insisting and reasoning with me, and I caved.  Not really caved, I literally gave up.  I said, whatever.  I don’t care about anything anymore, why should I care about taking some medicine?  It’s going to be over soon anyway.

And here’s what I meant.  For a number of years, I was 100% convinced I would be dead before I hit 50.  Absolutely sure of it.  As the date drew closer, I was making plans.  I have all my affairs in order.  Everything that someone would need to know in my absence was recorded.  And had the date passed without realization, well, I could remedy that.

(obviously I’m still here, 4 years later)

So I go on this SSRI med, and I get a combination of other meds for my issues.  Let me give you the honest truth about my experiences since that change.  First, the SSRI drug was like magic.  Not in the sense that it made me feel better – I did not immediately feel better and I never did while I was on it.  What it did do is eliminate "that thought".  And that part is completely magical to me.  How, of all my thoughts in a day, could it just remove that one?  I could think about it actively if I put my mind to it, but it had no emotional effect on me.  It’s unbelievable.

So, then, all’s well?  Not at all.  I wasn’t any happier and I knew I was an emotional zombie.  I had no lows, but also no highs.  Nothing meant anything to me.  And I suppose this was just fine while my thoughts kind of reorganized themselves.  But after a couple months, I was sick of it and told the doc I wanted to wean off of the drug.  I had what are termed "brain zaps" while dosing down and that’s an unexplainable sensation.  But my thoughts have remained relatively clear ever since.  A success story?

Well… when you spend so many years planning your end and that has been taken away from you, and the treatment and cessation of the treatment for that condition has not made any changes to your day-to-day mood and attitude, life is still a chore.  For a long time, I’ve been referring to my life as "playing on extra credits", harkening back to arcade games where you are given extra play time for some success, but once that’s gone, the game is done.  I’m not making any long term plans, I’m not empire building, have no plans for a relationship, have no plans for anything, really.  As I said, running out the clock.

But now, I’m actually beginning to see a little into the future.  It’s not sunlight and roses, but I’m starting to see that this extra play could go on for a while.  And part of the realization with that is that the game is actually easier than I thought it was.  I have no responsibilities, my expenses are low and stable, and I’ve got a lot of time to use.  If I choose to spend that time doing nothing, that’s ok.  If I choose to go out into the world and be pleasant and interactive, that’s ok, too.  There are no longer any expectations for me other than what I set for myself.  And that’s always been true, but when you’re in a relationship, you have to compromise and work together.  Not that I’ve been in a relationship for many years, but I somehow forgot that.

And now it’s baby steps trying to get back to the (at least) pleasant, approachable person I used to be.  I’m feeling a bit embarrassed about being so morose and withdrawn all the time.  I’m still of the mindset that every acquaintance is a potential anchor and I guard my freedom and privacy zealously, but, you have to reach out to make a connection, right?  I’m still pretty confident in my ability to identify compatible people.  I don’t know, maybe I can sense auras.  But I let a number of people slip by because I didn’t feel it was worth the effort.